“In the end, "The Heartless Stone" does not merely -- or thoroughly -- demystify diamonds. Instead, it leaves the reader poised before a kind of literary store window. It's dusk. Yellow light spills out onto the sidewalk…”. Blah, blah, blah.

I guess writing a book is ultimately cheaper than therapy. However, I worry a bit for someone who exercises the demons of unrequited love by writing a whole tome on the only thing he has left over from the relationship. I have one word for you Tom: pawnshop!

As for the above excerpt from Ben Cosgrove’s article, If the author in question didn’t “thoroughly -- demystify” the diamond, then he did a piss poor job of writing a book about them. The prospective consumer only needs to know a few things about diamonds to make an ’unmystified’ decision whether to ever buy one:

1) They are fairly worthless. They are expensive for the simple reason that a monopoly controls the bulk of the diamond trade and creates an allusion of scarcity by controlling how many diamonds go onto the market at any one time. If you were to flood the market tomorrow with the glut of diamonds currently held in vaults in Antwerp, Moscow, New York, India and Rio, you wouldn’t even be able to fill the tank of your SUV with the proceeds of your 1-karat stone.

2) Many diamonds come from places where the profits made from them are used to finance wars and genocide. The diamond panjandrums will tell you that they don’t sell these ‘blood’ diamonds but they really don’t know which is which-- despite their propaganda. It’s about as easy to buy blood diamonds through legitimate channels as it is to get tainted oysters from greasy spoon diners.

3) Diamonds are not eternal, forever or a girls best friend. You can burn a diamond or easily crush them with a hammer. And girls need a diamond about as much as they need a whole in their head. These are just clever slogans invented to convince you that your love is not complete without first ponying up to the whores at DeBeers.

Anyone who buys a diamond is either a rank sentimentalist or a dupe in a fairly transparent game. In a country that has a record level of personal dept and an unheard of ‘zero’ savings level, I can’t think of a more egregiously asinine expense for a young couple about to get married. Before buying a diamond do yourself a big favor and educate yourself before giving your money to the obscene hucksters at the DeBeers Corporation.

From a legal standpoint I’m not sure if this is a case of plagiarism or libel, but the character Charlie the Australopithecine is clearly based on me (down to the clothes, body hair and pronounced under bite). The incidents documented in this latest ‘so called’ comic happened to me last week at Mary Epstein’s party in the Bronx-- where I still think I was a hit!

And by the way Rueben, it was Milwaukee’s Best, not Schaefer Lights—get your facts straight!

The author says: "As the midterm elections approach, the Bush administration has launched its latest propaganda campaign, claiming that it is our Churchillian duty to fight the menace of 'Islamofascism'"

My question is- when do we take on the 'Christofascists' running our own country?