Letters to the Editor
cathbuzz
Published Letters: 8
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A Common Feeling
[Read the article: Midlife crisis: I could have been a singer!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]No one wants to hear that their anguish is common, but this is a completely normal feeling you're having. Your baby is 1 and is probaby starting to separate from you somewhat. Those crazy hormones that kept your focus on baby baby baby are starting to fade away, and you're left shaking your head and wondering, Now What?
I went through (am going through) the same shit. I always wanted to go back to college (for no good reason), but instead I moved to the middle of nowhere and had two kids. I feel like I've got no wiggle room. But you know, when you start to wiggle a little bit, you do realize there's more wiggle room than you thought, and the kids do get older, and you can get out more.
Insist on your me time. Start slow. Go sing. It isn't too late. And how cool is it going to be when your partner and child are watching you sing on stage somewhere? Your kid is going to be so proud of you.
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Yay Eric Meyer
[Read the article: I was betrayed by people I trusted]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Everything he said is so true.
I don't know if you'll find this exercise helpful, but next time you're out in the throng, take a look at all the unpolished and awkward. Those people don't deserve to be treated badly. You'll often find them walking with someone who loves them. Everyone deserves love. Everyone can find love and acceptance. So even if you feel you're unpolished, awkward, whatever negative thing you feel about yourself--you don't deserve to be treated badly, and you will find love and acceptance.
There's nothing wrong with you. You just need to find your people.
Asshats tend to smell the insecurities on you and they attack based on that. And when asshats choose to mock someone in public, I assure you, the ones who come off looking bad are them and not you. It takes some practice, but you can't let people treat you in that way. I hate to say it, but Dr. Phil is right when he says you teach people how to treat you. So those Facebook turds are just a learning experience. In the future, you'll teach people how to treat you better. It's difficult at first, but don't let confrontations go unaddressed. Don't let snide comments go unanswered. You don't have to flip out, but just sticking up for yourself with a simple "What do you mean by that?" or "Don't talk to me (about me) that way." is usually all it takes for the bullies to go about looking for easier prey.
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Rock the Boat
[Read the article: Our office manager is a dental despot!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Maybe it's just my personality, but I wouldn't pay the money. You teach people how to treat you, and everytime you follow the herd because you fear her, then you are reinforcing her power. Maybe it makes things rocky, but maybe it gives everyone else a little courage to say no next time. Maybe she'll think twice before she messes around with you. Bullies normally look for other prey rather than seek confrontation.
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You could be me!
[Read the article: I think I'm addicted to quitting my job!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]You could be me, only I've been at my current job for 6 years. Not because the feelings you describe have faded or that I don't go through the freak out every couple of months. Yeah that's still happening, along with the strange desire to up an move somewhere else, even fantasizing about living somewhere I've never even BEEN to before.
You can beat this by keeping busy. And I mean really busy. Not daily sudoku every morning busy. I'm talking about two kids, a house remodel, and a second job busy. Or make it more fun and do the new girlfriend, training for the triathalon busy. You've got no personal ups and downs going on maybe, or perhaps you've just got too much time to think about those slights.
It's better to live life balls out and just do what you do.
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I think you're blowing it out of proportion
[Read the article: My boyfriend danced dirty to make me jealous ]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Granted, I was not there. But were you both not out there having a good time, maybe drinking, dancing with lots of people, and living it up? Is it possible that your manfriend agreed with the bimbo's request to make you jealous just out of a playful spirit and not because he was seriously trying to get you jealous? Maybe somewhere in the back on his mind he thought it would stir up some jealousy that would serve him in some way, but I see this as a potentially awkward social situation served up by the 23-year-old bimbo that your manfriend navigated in a less-than-ideal way.
If it was me, the subject would not be broached again unless it happened again. And then it would be approached on the spot clearly and simply. If you see that bimbo in a social situation again, I would just tell him not to spend any time with this woman, or he will risk seriously pissing you off. And if you're out dancing again and he dances inappropriately with someone else, just make the boundaries clear as soon as he comes off the dance floor. Address it and leave it behind.