Letters to the Editor
DoubleE
Published Letters: 31 Editor's Choice: 3
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“R” “E” “S” “P” “E” “C” “T”
[Read the article: Who gets to use the N word?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]It is true that I am offended if a white person says the N word and am not when a black person says it. However, even though I may not be offended, no matter what their skin color, my esteem for that person drops measurably. The reasons why a white person should not say this word are clear to most everyone even if they choose to do it anyway. The reason why black people shouldn’t do it should also be clear: respect. Constantly associating yourself with this ugly word is not good for your self-esteem nor does it invoke esteem for you in others.
As for this excuse that “It’s part of our culture,” just because something is part of a cultural tradition, doesn’t make it good. Racism has been part of white culture for a long time: it is bad and it should stop. Using the N word has been part of black culture for a long time and should be put to rest as well.
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When convenience over rules vanity...
[Read the article: Who's too posh to push?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I guess I’m just vain, but I didn’t want a C-section when I gave birth to my two children because I’ve seen a lot of ugly scars. The only evidence that I even gave birth is my children and their birth certificates. Not only that, isn’t the recovery longer for C-sections? It seems that a few hours of pushing is better than several extra days of recovery and a scar that will last a life time.
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Go east camp missing the point
[Read the article: Should I stay East or go West?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]The LW has made it clear that the only reason for going east is family, which would entail living somewhere that oppresses her. Cary and others advocating for her going east point out that there are many lovely places in the east—true enough—but apparently none of these places are near her family. If she took your advice she would still have to travel to see them. Car or plane? What does it matter? If you have the option you should live where you are happiest.
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More study need
[Read the article: The costs of asking for a higher salary]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I read the article and while I believe it, this hasn't been my experience. I have always asked for more money/promotions when I felt I deserved it and I have always gotten it. It has never hurt me as I have always been well regarded by my employers. Perhaps there are more subtle things at work here?
Even though I look very feminine, my work habits/behavior appear to be more like my male counter parts than my female. Perhaps this is why my employers are not penalizing me for my "aggressive" behavior? I.e. it is not surprising to them.
I think it might be helpful to study this a bit more since it provided no answers. After all even some men were penalized for negotiating. How does anyone negotiate successfully? Is the answer different for men and women?
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Right idea wrong approach?
[Read the article: Math doesn't suck, it buys you Gucci]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]As a female electrical engineer, I think I know what Danica is trying to accomplish. Because I am attractive and femine, when I tell people that I am an engineer, more often than not their first response is, "You don't look like an engineer." People really seem to equate math with masulinity. Danica is trying to let girls know that they don't have to be "butch" to pursue a math related career. This really does need to be conveyed to young girls. We will never close the wage gap if women continue to shun math/science professions. Perhaps Ms. McKellar's book did not articulate this well but I applaud her attempt.
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Never made a mistake huh?
[Read the article: I'm so damned judgmental!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I can relate to what the LW is saying, mostly. I went to college and worked hard to get my degree when no one else I knew at the time did. Similarly, I rejected my poor upbringing and made sure that I did not repeat it with my kids. As a result I often find myself annoyed an impatient with people who complain about their lives but never try to change. And I too am conscience about and seek to suppress this feeling as I recognize not only is it uncompassionate but is destructive to me. Sometimes I worry that I will become one of those cranky old people that are always snottily telling people what they think; I imagine in their youth they kept those thoughts to themselves and as they got older they became bolder in verbalizing them.
However, I would never claim that I have never made mistakes. Mistakes are how humans learn. Either you are still very immature and really have not grown as a human being or you are in denial about your mistakes. Perhaps it is both? From your letter, it is clear that you are a “social retard.” The fact that people can read your judgment in your face and in your voice shows that you have underdeveloped social skills. Could it be that in your quest for the perfect outer world that you neglected to develop your inner world? I think that if you tackle this problem with the same tenacity that you did in achieving your other goals you will ultimately prevail; though, I believe you will find it harder (I know I did/do). From one social retard to another, good luck to you.