Letters to the Editor
UnderTheRadar
Published Letters: 19 Editor's Choice: 2
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Please get medical attention
[Read the article: I'm brilliant but I can't settle down. I can't keep a job. What's wrong with me? ]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I have gone through so much of what LW is going through, although without a graduate degree. I, too, am the brilliant but scattered one in the family- the joke is that I can't keep a job, or finish my undergrad, or finish making a Christmas present for anyone (I'm an artist.) I, too, always got anxiety attacks at "jobby jobs," and I would just stop going, much to the dismay of my family.
Well, now I'm 31, a divorced mom, and I HAVE to pull my sh*t together and support myself and my kid. Jeez, it would be really nice to live on an exotic island and dream about dream jobs and free health care! But you know what? You're not supposed to "love" working. Really, that's why they PAY you to do it- because you wouldn't do it for free!
I found out, though, that I do suffer from severe ADD and anxiety disorder. I'm on meds now, and after a couple of years of cognitive therapy, I'm doing much better about sticking at a job. I'm finishing my degree, and I've found a job that I can stick with- because I'm using my skills in an environment that suits my personality style. I could NEVER do receptionist work again!
I say, go get checked out. It is NOT NOT NOT normal to have a pattern of panic attacks and quitting of jobs after only a few weeks. My psychiatrist always said, "If your anxiety is interfering with your ability to function on a daily basis, then you probably need medication." Good luck!
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Wait a minute...
[Read the article: I'm brilliant but I can't settle down. I can't keep a job. What's wrong with me? ]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]You know, I was thinking- if LW has a long enough history of panicking and running from jobs after a few weeks that it has become the family joke, then she has some serious repair work to do. That does not look good on a resume. Maybe if she wants to get that "dream" job, she'd better take an entry level position somewhere (anywhere!) and stick with it long enough to show potential "dream" employers that she CAN stick with a job more than a month. THAT may very well have been a big reason why she "botched" her big interview.
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Getting rid of pets
[Read the article: I'm living in filth!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I strongly disagree with Marlowe's Cat's advice- I, too, am an animal lover and animal rights activist, and I suffer from moderate depression- and I will never, EVER have a dog again. I went through the same thing as LW, and what I came away with was that no matter how much I love my animals, if I can't provide the best environment for them, then I have no business having them in the first place.
MAYBE after getting settled in good, stable jobs, and being on meds and getting some good cognitive behavioral therapy, MAYBE then the LW can consider pet ownership. But right now, it is too much to deal with- training three adult dogs is really involved, full-time work!! She does not have the energy to devote to that right now!! THEREFORE, the best thing for the dogs would be to find them good homes where they will get what THEY need, too. Three dogs shut in an apartment all day are NOT HAPPY ANIMALS. It is very selfish to keep animals cramped up just so you can "enjoy" them when you get home from work. The responsible thing to do for them would be to get them the care they need so the LW can get the care she needs. Period.
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Back to Cat
[Read the article: I'm living in filth!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Your response just reminded me...what about the partner? Where's he in all of this mess? If she has been lying in bed and crying for who-knows-how-long and can't even get up to clean, why hasn't he stepped up to help out? Did he ever suggest she might need counseling or help for depression? Did he just let her lay there?? Wow, if that's the case, then either he's severely depressed too or she's got bigger problems than carpet.
I, too, fell into that pit of despair for a time where you can't even get out of bed all day. Let me tell you, that's the "bad place". And I was living with my (now ex) husband and he never lifted a finger to help me out my depression, or even pick up around the house- that was very telling. Many years (and a child) later and I can look back and see that I should have realized what a louse he was. Not that LW's partner is, too, but she makes no real mention of support from him in this terrible period of her life (other than not kicking her out...)
And yeah, why do people beat up on the depressed? I know why. Because they've never been to the bad place. They just don't understand that, yes, there really can be something so awful in your head that you can't even pick up some poop on the floor or get out of the bed. They've just never felt those things, and they think we are making it up. They think it can't be real. And if it happens to you, you, too don't think it is happening...and then all of a sudden a couple of years of nothingness have gone by and your carpet is ruined and you wonder, "what the hell is wrong with me?!" and you get on some meds and start to turn your life back into a life and realize, "oh shit, the carpet is ruined. What do I do now?" Yes, everyone has an inkling of how to clean things. But when you come out of the cocoon of depression and start to assess the damage around you, you just don't know where to begin to do triage on your life.