Should be renamed FlushQuickly. HA HA, me so funny.

Seriously, tho. It's a steaming pile of "this could have been really good if they'd invested in real writers, but they didn't, so it's not."

Case in point: our front line FBI hero amazingly has full diplomatic decision making over the release of a Nazi war criminal, based on a verbal handshake, and is utterly powerless to back out of the deal because the evil Nazi had a scary lawyer with him. Or how about how our hero manages to accelerate the process so that his AA sponsor can dig his daughter's remains, perform DNA testing, and GET THE DEFINITIVE RESULTS BACK within 24 hours. Or how about the weak "hey, let's just build a worldwide website where people can volunteer their visions and we'll come up with a way to correlate that data on the fly" premise? I'm sure they could get that up and running - with perfect logic that weeds out the obvious pranksters, fakers, and pretenders - just as soon as the FBI updates to Windows XP.

It's a freakin BRILLIANT premise that is utterly shred to crap by horrible horrible horrible writing. Kill it. Kill it now.

A helluva lot more than you will ever do, that's for damn sure.

Dare to dream, Orly. Dare. To. Dream.

is finding the little gifts he sneaks in there for those of us paying attention. For example:

I saw Office Space first came out, in a crowded theater (in Austin, where a lot of it was filmed). In one little transition shot, our hero is pulling in to his apartment complex. It's such a pointless little scene that you almost wonder why he left it in the film. But then I noticed that the sign of his apartment complex - Morningwood Apartments - and my inner 14 year couldn't help but shout it out, much to the delight of my companions.

It's too small/blurry to see on our DVD, so it might only be visible on Blue Ray. But it's there, I swear it!

...if you like having a heat lamp for a television and double the energy usage.

And why no mention of LEDs?

Her story is full of holes - hell, the amount she's seeking in her civil case practically begs to be interpreted as a shake-down - and still I'm inclined to believe something untoward happened between the two of them.

Which begs the question, why? It makes no sense given the particulars currently available to assume he raped her. And yet here I sit, thinking a guy I previously semi-admired for his athletic prowess and guts is likely a rapist.

And that's the (not so) funny thing about rape allegations - even in a bewildering case such as this where there is currently no credible evidence, the accused stands with reasonable people assuming he's guilty before proven innocent.

So feel free to throw THAT in with your pithy That's Rape Culture™ buzz phrase.

Kato. Kaelin.

Nothing to see here, people. Please move on.

For the next installment where Glenn Beck is revealed as yet another Cohen character, please focus on how the joke is based solely on the premise of recreating an earnest version of the Howard Beale character from Network.

It would be kinda hilarious if people weren't actually taking him seriously.

"Why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?"

I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume this persona of hers is just an elaborate, ongoing form of performance art - like what Joaquin Phoenix is doing. Because if not, this woman needs to be fitted for a straightjacket.

bat.

shit.

insane.

Shorter version: "Glorifying this is wrong. Now click the link below to glorify it."

Oh, sorry. You said that we should "decide for ourselves if we wanted to watch," so technically you're not actually showing us the thing you think is wrong for being shown.

Science: We're all about coulda, not shoulda.

Thanks, King, for the great column - truly one of my all-time faves on Salon, and certainly right up there in all of sports opinion. You'll be missed.

Best wishes to ya on wherever the road takes you.

What if she were UNABLE to have children? How stunningly rude and inappropriate is that question now? "Hey barren-girl, how's that dustbowl of a uterus treating ya?"

Stay classy, Nightline!

C'mon, Steele!

Just about any time I've ever seen or heard this guy talk, I come away with the distinct impression that he's a Grade A Idiot. He spouts the talking points without conviction or the intellectual ability to back them up when pressed.

Sure, his victory would be tremendous PR coup for the GOP ("See? look, we got a black guy at the top! We're not all racist morons!"), but if anyone could undo that kind of goodwill, he's just the guy.

Self-righteous selfishness.

"I care about the downtrodden so much that I turn my back on them, because my tax dollars are too important to me and doggone it I'm sure somebody nice out there will do something for those poor folks."

Note: Not to be confused with social libertarian (small L) thought.

Further note: Yes, I know this is a grossly oversimplified invective. I'm ornery today. ;-)