Letters to the Editor
gradysu
Published Letters: 158 Editor's Choice: 40
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Get a grip, please...
[Read the article: Bill Maher: "Don't show me your tits!" ]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Sajwan: Thanks for completely missing my point. No, I don't eat in the bathroom, but I have breastfed there. When you're in a restaurant or other public place with an infant, that's generally the most private place to go. And of course peeing and pooping are not the same as breastfeeding; my point, which I stated pretty clearly, is that they are all natural but inherently private functions, and restrooms serve all three functions quite admirably.
Oh, and sajwan: props for misspelling "accommodations" two different ways!
Juliebird: In one of your letters (I confess I don't remember which one; I lost count) on this thread, you say I missed the point, and yet you don't take issue in any intelligent way with anything I said (although you do seem to have failed to grasp the same pretty clear point that flew over sajwan's head; ie that peeing and pooping share several salient traits with breastfeeding: they're natural and inherently private).
It's clear from your posts, including what sounded like a high-school book report on the wonders of breastfeeding (it's nutritious and soothing!! Who knew?!?) that you fit my description of self-indulgent smugness perfectly. Was that your stroller I struggled past in Macy's last week?
There are BILLIONS of mothers in the world. Britney Spears gave birth twice, for God's sake. You are not one IN a billion, you are one OF a billion.
I breastfed all three of my children without controversy, without turning it into performance art, and without lecturing anyone on the glories of breastfeeding. I'm happy to say that the only ones involved in the experience were my daughters and me. No adoring crowds necessary. And I never expected anyone to bend over backwards to accommodate me in public places. Fortunately, I am one of a great many mothers who view breastfeeding as a natural but inherently intimate act between a mother and child -- not cause for rampant self-congratulations and hissyfits when people fail to pay proper homage to my miraculous breasts. And I find it amusing that the same people who talk about what a natural, matter-of-fact act breastfeeding is (and yes, it is!) also seem to want a round of applause and a medal every time they do it.
Perhaps the lactivists need to pull their heads out of their bras and pay a bit more attention to the actual problems in the world, lest they find their little ones heading to a still-smoldering Iraq when they reach adulthood.
And again, Bill Maher? A COMEDIAN. So please. Get. Over. Yourselves. Trust me, if you ratchet down the self-absorption, you'll be doing much more for your babies than your breasts ever could!
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The first thing we need to do...
[Read the article: Bringin' home the bacon, but no boyfriend]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]...is ditch the phrases "dating up," which implies golddigging, and "dating down," which implies settling or slumming. It's amazing that with a caste system like that in place, anyone would dare to date outside their own income pool.
If we need to keep these horrendous phrases, let's use them correctly: terrific people who date awful people, no matter how much money they've got, are dating down. Awful people who've managed to snag someone good are dating up.
I have a friend who's dating a man who makes much more money than she does, but he belittles her in public, and she's pretty sure he cheats on her. Clearly she's dating down, and he, up.
And I agree that the whole "inequality" issue usually comes down to lifestyle. I make more than my husband, who's a college associate dean. But we have the same values, interests, hopes and dreams.
A lot of the guys I work with, who make about the same amount or more than I do, are career-obsessed Republicans (I know they're career-obsessed because, well, it's pretty obvious when I regularly get Blackberry'd by them at eleven at night when they've just left the office, and on weekends when they're AT the office, and I know they're Republicans from the comments they make in the office about politics, and from some of the friendly-yet-snarky jokes I got when I wore a John Kerry button on my coat in 2004).
If I were single, these guys, ostensibly, would be my dating peers, but while some of them seem like perfectly nice people, I'd opt for the 12 cats before I'd date them. In fact, I'd take the cats out for a nice pasta and chianti and then curl up in bed with them before I'd date these guys.
My husband, on the other hand, is the love of my life. He was when he was working full time on his Ph.D. and making no money, he is now, and he always will be. And if I lose my job tomorrow (I'm in a pretty volatile industry) and making $405 a week on unemployment, he'll feel the same way about me.