You bring up some good points, but honestly I think that it has much more to do with the infantilization of women. After all, it's not like Edward really just loves Bella "for herself" --and vice versa. He lusts after her b/c of her blood (the equivalent in vamp world of having a "hot ass"), and she lusts after him b/c of his perfect face and body. If they had more of a realistic/believable bond than I could believe that more, but from the very beginning all Bella talks about is Edward's insert your own physical attribute. Does he even have a personality? Besides being a creepy stalker, I mean? Who knows...that's kinda skipped over. All Bella ever does is lust after him...these books are positively dripping with sex, even if it doesn't actually happen until the last book.

I actually see this as having a lot in common with another cultural phenomenon a decade earlier--Britney Spears. For one thing, they're both pop culture franchises whose popularity left me going WTF? But while Twilight promoted abstinence while being swooningly obsessed with sex, Britney Spears had her whole "look but don't touch" shtick. I'm positive that her popularity was almost solely due to her public announcement of virginity and waiting until marriage for sex and her pretty face and scantily clad body. The juxtaposition of those two things apparently drove people crazy, just like they do in Twilight.

To me, it's about the infantilization of women and sex, a very adolescent view of it. You want the thrill of it, but you don't want to deal with the actual grown up ickiness of actual sexuality. And of course, it's fine for actual adolescents to feel that way about--it's developmentally normal and healthy. But when grown women (see the Twilight Moms website) work themselves into a lather over it and apparently spend days and days obsessing over the characters and wishing their husbands were more like Edward--well I just find that very odd. I see it more about a desire to remain young and a child forever and to have someone to take care of you and love you unconditionally. And let's face it--your spouse or SO does not love you unconditionally. That's not how it works. The only people who really love you unconditionally are your parents (most of the time.) So to want your b/f to treat you like your father would, just seems a bit strange to me.

Well maybe that's one of the reasons that we differ in our opinions so much. When I was in high school about a decade ago, I never felt any such pressure to be overtly sexual. I'm not saying that the pressure wasn't there, I just didn't care about it. I've always been a kinda march to the beat of my own drummer person. Even when I was a little elementary age kid, I rolled my eyes at the melodrama of who was going out with who and all that. When I was in high school, I never dated and I never wanted to have sex. I had a few intense crushes, but was never motivated to actually approach the guys. When I actually had sex for the first time when I was twenty, my first thought was "Dear God, that hurt like a motherfucker! Nobody prepared me for that!" My second thought was "Is that really it?" Seven years, I'm still going "Is that it?"

Sex still isn't that important to me, and I couldn't care less about societal norms that tell women they're required to be sexy and required to land a man and get the wedding ring and all that shit. I've not dated in years, and I've been celibate for about one year--and I'm totally cool with it. I'm not knocking relationships, because a deep bond with another person is a wonderful thing. Maybe I'll find someone in the near future, maybe I won't. I'm okay with it either way.

So basically in regards to Twilight, I'm not that interested in sex so all the swooning over Edward just irritates and bores me. And I don't feel any particular pressure to be sexual if I don't want to be, so I don't care about the abstinence aspect of the novels. My own viewpoint is that abstinence beliefs put sex up on this pedestal, like it's this magical thing, when in reality it's just a part of life, kind of like eating and sleeping. There's nothing magical about it. It's like anything...it can be wonderful, and it can also be terrible and deadly dull.

So I guess I can see where you're coming from, as to why you like the books so much. I just don't agree, and I don't feel the same way about them.

I don't mean to sound condescending here, and if I do then I apologize. But if that's the case, if you've really had male friends tell you straight up that they don't like your looks, then I agree with firefly. You need better friends. I'm trying to wrap my mind around the concept of a guy who's supposedly a good friend to you insulting your looks to your face, and it's not happening for me. Those guys are not good friends. A friend, male or female, is there to be supportive and to make you feel good about yourself. If they needlessly put you down and insult your appearance (seriously, who the fuck does that?) then they're not doing their job as a friend and they need to be told to take a hike. I don't even know why appearance would necessarily be brought up (that' not really something I discuss w/ my male friends), but if it is, then they're supposed to make you feel beautiful. And don't tell me that you're not, b/c everyone is in their own way, even if it's simply your smile or your laugh or your voice.

Okay, lecture over.