What an astonishing collection! Out of the tragedy of Katrina and the bitter aftermath of the political storm that left the city in shambles comes the healing balm of art. We need more voices, more writing, and more art to show the world that this beautiful city is not to be forgotten. Such writing, whether reflecting in the glorious past or quivering in the wake of the shattered present, reminds us that New Orleans still lives and breathes.

Since when did feeding the poor and caring for the sick and infirm become sins in the eyes of God? Stephen Baldwin is lacking basic building blocks in his moral and ethical foundation upon which he has built his ministry, which in plain English means that he is not teaching young people about faith, charity, hope, and love--he's teaching them the religious right's hateful basics of might-is-right, arrogance, selfishness, bigotry, and anti-intellectualism. Baldwin needs to spend a bit more time using that God-given brain beneath that Hollywood face, and study the Gospels and the Prophets before shooting off his mouth again. Perhaps Baldwin should pray for deliverance from the deadly sins of pride and anger.

Moreover, Baldwin's obsession with Bono's work is clearly fueled by envy over the attention the Irish rocker received over the many years he's been involved with helping the poor, sick, and infirm in Africa. Maybe he should learn all of the 10 commandments too--especially the one about coveting other people's things!

Given my current collection of scratched up CDs, I'm glad Apple invented something to advance the way we listen to music. IPod and ITunes helped me save my music collection, plus I like the endless possibilities of IPod as a teaching tool. I often wonder what people said about vinyl records when they first appeared with regard to culture-making--probably the same thing.

After the initial moral outrage that this letter apparently inspired, it seems to me that at the heart of the LW's dilemma is loneliness and lack of intimacy. He is clearly unhappy, but he doesn't have the psychological ability to name it and deal with it what saddens him. It is unclear as to whether the LW's wife is feeling the same way as he, but it is very clear that the LW feels a lack of real intimacy--love, soul deep. Sex without love and commitment really is bereft of feeling, and therein lies the "wall" Cary mentions in his response--the LW realizes that there is a reason why we chose to pair off romantically other than for the convenience of available sex from someone who lives with you.

To me, polyamory as practiced in the West represents the greed and self-centeredness our culture encourages with its hyperfocus on exploitative sex. It's more than having one's cake and eating it: it's the ideal for someone who wants to gorge on cake without thinking about calories and without recognizing that the stomach will burst from the strain. And let's not forget about the limits that swinging and polyamory places on its participants: there is really nothing to talk about or think about outside of the activities of the bedroom, because that would mean you have to think about your sex "partner" beyond the "fun." To me, it seems pointless to call the LW's situation with his wife a "marriage," because it is missing an essential ingredient: love. Neither the husband nor the wife in this dilemma know anything about love--they only know lust.

Moreover, it is a way of thinking that discourages people from establishing necessary limits and boundaries in their own lives--sometimes, just because it feels good doesn't mean it's good for you. I wonder what sort of ethics these parents will teach their children: instant gratification, self-delusion, superficial relationships, and self-centeredness will be what they learn from example. Intimacy is about touching the soul of the other, and being touched by the soul of the other, and that cannot happen if Dick and Jane and John and Mary are still grooving on the thrill of "easy" sex. The LW is discovering that he needs something more in his life than that, and perhaps, he's beginning to realize that none of his sexual encounters, including that which occurs with his wife, are good for his soul. In this case, divorce and a moratorium on relationships may be the only way this man can heal--perhaps his wife will awaken from her emotional stupor and seek a divorce for her own needs, as well as "for the sake of the children." Maybe, just maybe, he's realizing that he needs something old-fashioned--like love.

Cary made a crucial point here about story-telling, and I am going to add my two cents here by suggesting something else to the LW: use it. Why don't you write? And I don't mean you going to your husband and sharing it with him to seek his approval--it's evident that you are impelled to speak to him in an effort to find some sort of connection, but I think you need to go within yourself and satisfy your need to be heard beyond the limits imposed by your relationship with your less than communicative husband. Your writing will not be the same as your husband's work, but that's not a bad thing--you have your own unique voice with which to share your vision of the world as you articulate it. I think you have something to say about the human condition, but you need a forum, you need the art of language, and writing poetry, fiction, and/or nonfiction may help you channel that energy. Find "a room of your own" and start typing. Start a blog or a writer's group, and try to connect with other people who "can't stop talking." I think it's a wonderful gift to be inspired to speak, but now it's time to find a way to use it in a way that will satisfy your need to be heard.