Letters to the Editor
zizi-k
Published Letters: 28 Editor's Choice: 4
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the opportunities of gift-giving
[Read the article: Do I have the right to control how Christmas money is used?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]The LW certainly could ask the kids what they want, but I'd be surpised if their answer wasn't in the 'video games' realm. Why not take the opportunity to give them a gift that they might not have thought of, but might really enjoy? What do you wish that you had been exposed to as a child? Like a boxed set of the Chronicles of Narnia, a road-race set, an easy bake oven, or a badminton kit? Getting an interesting and unexpected gift is so much better than just getting what you asked for. Plus, you get to be the 'cool uncle who lives far away but sends cool stuff' rather than the disapproving shrew whose gifts aren't appreciated anyway.
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It's so not a penis!
[Read the article: Storm over "penis" in Va. Tech shooting photo]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'm sorry if this is crass, but the belt or scarf or whatever that was was SO MUCH LONGER than your typical flaccid penis! It looked at least 6-7" long! There's no way I would have mistook that for a penis. That's so weird that so many people thought so!
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Cary is playing King Solomon!
[Read the article: I don't want more kids but my wonderful husband does]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]By positing an absurd solution (cut the baby in half! have it but don't raise it!) Cary is testing the LW to see if she's really got motherhood in her. Based on her letter, he could easily have gone either way with his advice. It's clearly a tough, tough situation. However, if she actually goes through the exercise of writing down her dreams and ambitions for the future, they will either seem more important than her marriage (for that's really what's at stake, isn't it?) or they'll seem silly in the face of what her husband is giving up. Or, maybe she'll see that she can fulfill those dreams even with another child.
This situation reminds me a lot of that recent case in Britain where a woman and her partner created embryos, but they broke up before there were inseminated. He withdrew his consent, thereby denying her the possibility of ever having her own biological child. Maybe the LW could have the baby and her husband could raise it with the Brit?
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alienating but appropriate
[Read the article: I Like to Watch]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'm not sure why anyone would expect - after years of that show being filled with ambiguity, anxiety, and the possibility of Really Bad Things lurking just around the corner - a tidy ending that answers all of the open-ended questions. (The Russian returns! With Adrianna! They met in the woods and are now an item!) The show's plot has never resolved itself into a neat little package. Part of the reason the show is so addictive is the (empty) promise of answers next episode, next season. Look at Lost - the show is getting boring now that they're resolving more mysteries than they're creating.
I think Chase did Sopranos viewers a favor by providing an ending that validated everyone's and no one's theories about the show, feelings about Tony and his family, and sympathies towards the lifestyles they depicted. If he'd have ended it by letting Tony off the hook or killing him, he would have been passing judgement one way or the other. This way, Tony retains his complexity - and we retain the complexity of our feelings toward him - forever.
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yarmulkes are not a recognition of god
[Read the article: I've had three miscarriages and my husband won't wear a yarmulke]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I am a recently (inter)married Jewish woman who had to wrestle with many similar issues throughout the planning of my wedding ceremony. I find the LW's position of not really believing in god, yet valuing the jewish culture and community, to be perfectly reasonable and coherent. In fact, it is quite my own opinion as well! The Jewish concept of god is much more abstract (the Light, the Infinite) than most typical conceptions of god are anyway. Of course there's no old guy working the puppet strings, hence, god is not so important in a day-to-day sense. What is important is the history and culture of a people, and belonging. This is my own opinion, but I think Jews define ourselves in some ways by our otherness.
Anyway, onto more practical matters...the LW's husband would remove his shoes if he entered a mosque, would he not? It's a sign of respect. Does he have a problem with Western reporters who visit Islamic nations who wear a head scarf? They are not acknowledging GOD, they're showing respect and deference to a culture that does happen to believe in god. Does he take his baseball hat off during the national anthem? It's the same thing. To me, even as a Jew, the yarmulke is a sign of modesty, and its an nod to the fact that we're imperfect beings. His refusal to wear it is kind of like if he refused to partake in the blessings over the wine and bread because he had a problem with cups or plates, rather than having a problem with god or the content of the ritual. Does he refuse to pick up a prayer book too? That object has much more to do with god than a silly skull cap.
The LW will not find a synagoge that allows men to go bareheaded any more than she would find one that allowed women to go topless. I understand that her husband wants to find a line to draw. He wants to maintain his identity as a non-religous person. He's just picking the wrong line. It's not like they're asking to see his penis to see if he's circumcised!
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rephrasing the question
[Read the article: Should I tell my new man that I used to date women?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]If you were a vegetarian 10 years ago, but have been eating meat reguarly for 10 years, would you feel an obligation to tell your new boyfriend? If you were a religious person that lost your faith a decade ago, would you feel obligated to tell him?
I think the answers to the questions above is no. I don't see why a change in someone's sexuality should be any different.