I am a subscriber and visit Salon nearly every day. Thank you Salon for being the site I go to in order to find out "what's really going on."

I encourage the original letter writer to continue to imagine creative alternatives for her situation. Legal marriage does not require that the parties cohabitate. If living apart works, then why fix it?

To the other letter writers: Enough with the name calling already! Agree to disagree and move on.

Suggesting AA meetings for this man is a good idea. Putting the "plug in the jug" is only the first step. The priceless thing available in AA is finding one's own higher power. Once we connect with that higher power everything has the potential to change. The family will probably not change, but our attitude toward them will.

"If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are halfway through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook on life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us--sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them."

From "Alcoholics Anonymous" (the Big Book) pages 83 & 84.

It really works. Miracles.

Years ago my younger sister asked me to be in her wedding. I had serious misgivings about the guy she was marrying. He had been married twice and had abandoned both his wives after a child appeared. I went over to their place and told her I couldn't be in the wedding. It was very emotional for me. She was my little sister and I wanted to be supportive, but just couldn't support her marriage to this guy. She took it well--much better than I did. I attended the wedding as a guest. She had child number one. So far, so good. A month or so after child number two appeared, he left her. I knew it was going to happen and was glad I had not been in the wedding. He had no contact with his children at all for about five years.

I'm glad I was honest with her and true to myself. I was able to continue to support her because my position had not changed. She will always be my sister, and I will always love her no matter what choices she makes.

We should always listen to that little voice that tells us the true thing to do, even if it is not a popular decision.

P.S. Heterosexuals need to reevaluate their ideas of marriage. It's not something that you just do, and then undo. There are people who really want to marry and cannot. Please take marriage seriously.

talks like a duck, dresses like a duck, is attracting other ducks

then maybe IT IS a duck.

A definition (loosely quoted from memory) from Dan Savage at Savage Love: That frothy mixture of feces and lube that happens during anal sex.

Hey LW: Dan Savage wouldn't answer your letter? Too bad. This columnist will have to do.

does a part time job while in college have to be about a higher calling?

And then there's Jo, the whoring sea donkey of the group.

I have always thought that the title of the play in question was ridiculous. If we are going to talk about an anatomical area, call it by its correct name, already!

Is not the area of interest the vulva? Outer labia, inner labia, external part of the clitoris? The vagina is the canal that is between the vulva and the uterus.

I realize anatomy books have not named these parts clearly, but as women it is time we claim these structures proudly and not euphemistically.

It really makes me angry that people still think that rape is about sex, that men "need sex" so they rape women. Or that men in prison "need sex" so they rape other men.

Rape is a violent act that is about the rapist taking power over the victim.

No human, female or male, asks for this violence to be done to them.

There is no "excuse" for rape. Anywhere or any time.

It's about time that US military leaders are finally listening to the reporting of injustices being done to our soldiers.

Hopefully this will lead to much overdue corrections of the abuse soldiers take at the hands of their superiors.

Salon's own beloved Keith Knight offers a canvas shopping bag with his artwork and the slogan "I Don't Do Plastic."

Somehow that works better for me.

some people have never grown emotionally past high school. They don't have a life outside of the office. Their world consists of work, the kids and their activities and TV. What makes life interesting on TV? DRAMA. A quiet serene life? BORING.

Material things won't make them happy past the moment they unwrap the new toy. We're bored. Let's look for some excitement and create some new drama!

Clitorectomy? Why not castration?

Horrible either way.

A person I was dating had really noxious farts. She was diabetic. It turned out that her blood sugar was out of control and she needed to start insulin. Once her sugar was down significantly the heinous gas stopped.

So the medical angle might not be a bad idea after all.