Oh, this is sad. Sounds like my brother and his daughter. He dates, has relationships, and nothing is ever permanent. Maybe not because of him, not because of his daughter, but because of the way they interact with each other, which is painful to watch when they visit. She is 19, learning disabled (still trying to graduate h.s.) and socially clueless. Her mother died when she was 3. She needs help with grooming (she has horrific dandruff and won't wash her hair on her own), clothing, table manners (sniffing food before you serve yourself at the table is not ok). My sister and I try to do what we can from the other side of the country, but my brother resists any help. It is impossible to suggest, let alone advise. (My sister is a special ed teacher with three adult children; I have two daughters, one slightly older, one the same age as his, so we are qualified). My advice: do not take on the responsibility of raising this child unless you are fully on-board and your boyfriend is willing to listen to you. And you, with no child-raising experience, need to be careful to educate yourself as to her situation and please, reach out to other parents. My deceased sister-in-law's attitude was "Just because my daughter is adopted, doesn't mean I don't know what I am doing!" And unfortunately, my brother seems to think he knows what he is doing, and has never tried to find out what the norm is. He's raising her in isolation. My neice is loving and loveable and I could do so much more for her if he would take some advice and seek some help. Readers, do not criticize the LW; if she were to marry this man and take on the responsibility for raising this teen, she would be on her own; this man, like my brother, doesn't know what he is doing and doesn't want to know. When you leave him, please, for the sake of his daughter, make it clear to him that you are leaving not because of his daughter, but because of his inability to raise his daugther. If you stay, God bless you. Find help and do your best. But you must ask yourself if you want to stay with a man who cannot connect with his own daughter and leaves her to the paid help.