Letters to the Editor
Cary Tennis
Published Letters: 52 Editor's Choice: 12
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Comment from Cary
[Read the article: Mommy, is Grandpa going to prison as a sex offender?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I got a letter from a woman this morning saying she read the article but that I never really answered the question: What, precisely, can she say, in this case, to her 6-year-old son whose dad could very soon be going to prison. And she really needed an answer! And I wrote back and said I can't say precisely what words to use ... because I don't know the kid. And we had a correspondence in the course of which she went over the whole situation and ended up telling me exactly what she wanted to say to her child, and it was beautiful and true and heartfelt and I thought yes! That is what I'm talking about! She said, No, I can't really say THAT to my child. And maybe not exactly that. But she can convey the feeling of that -- that Mommy is strong and knows what she's about and is dealing with the situation and is unstinting in her love of the kid and it's not the kid's fault and the kid deserves to be loved and deserves better.
I mention this because, No. 1, it was just so cool, but also because sometimes when I answer a question by saying I can't tell you exactly, maybe it sounds like I'm not answering the question. But what I'm saying is that if you go through the process you will hit on the answer. So she went through it, just by relating the situation, by making the narrative. And she hit on something totally true and honest and forthright! So I was glad. And we just, sometimes, need somebody to talk to, so we can go through the whole story and get to what we want to say. And maybe people don't have anybody to go through that process with when they need to. And that is a community issue -- and maybe this community does have something to offer.
That's what I'm talking about!
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A note from the moderator
[Read the article: A fellow law student broke my nose and joked about it on Facebook]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]hi, this is Cary, I don't usually step in as moderator, but in this case I went through this discussion and deleted letters that contained identifying information. There are many excellent posts here, but certain ones seem to identify individuals, and I deleted those where I could. Anonymity is a crucial part of how this column works. I want people to be able to write to me without fearing that they will be publicly identified. It was a mistake on my part to mention Facebook. I should have realized that would lead to a breaking of anonymity. I will continue to delete letters that contain identifying info, and if you see letters here that I have missed, which is quite possible, write to the advice@salon.com mailbox and let me know -- include their permalink or something, and I will delete them. Thanks. -- Cary T.
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Whining and Self-Absorption? You must be kidding!
[Read the article: My walls are covered with my mother's paintings]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]You thought there was whining and self-absorption here? Sorry, you obviously haven't done your research. I suggest you read my archives thoroughly. Spend some time with the material before you call this one a classic. There are some classics! But this one isn't even close. You want whining and self-absorption, sure, you can find it. But not here. This was very matter-of-fact. This was positively real-world practical by my standards. And I should know!
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Posting from "Stuart"
[Read the article: I'm a jazz pianist, nearly 50, and I need to make some real money!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]This person wrote to Salon Premium Help requesting aid in posting, so I thought I would post this for him. Was having technical trouble of some sort ...
quote:
"We have our profession in common, but different is that I did have kids,
been supporting them, mostly as a single parent, for 20 years. Thus now 41
after having worked for years as a legal secretary (ugh!!!!!!) and having
multiple major U.S. and international recording and performance credits and
other feathers under my musical cap, I'm dirt poor and approach middle age
with the same trepidation you describe.
I took a distance course and do medical transcription at home and make about
40k a year. I can live anywhere in the country I want and work this same
job. Still struggling and totally jaded about music as an income source, but
I'm happy and feel fortunate to have found this option. There's definitely
something out there that'll work for you, keep looking and soul-searching;
and questioning the underlying assumption that all your income has to be
from music is definitely a good thing - I've been much happier and much more
excited about music since doing there, even with aforementioned successes
under my belt."
-Stuart
end quote --ct
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I notice the difference
[Read the article: The death of hi-fi?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Just to add my 2 cents, I do notice, as one poster said (isaacyho?) the lack of tonal coloration in highly compressed acoustic and jazz music, on drums, horns, strings, the way horns will swell and decay, expand or contract, attacks on strings, colorations on cymbals ... these things are absent from highly compressed mp3 files, in my experience. it is interesting to note the observations of the musician who says he (she?) adds those elements unconsciously to the sound, so that the sound coming out of the machine is almost a figuration. take this to an extreme however and it is almost as though you are reading music, not listening. you are adding everything. I like to hear a little more of what I know was there to start with, because those subtleties affect me emotionally, like gesture and posture, like the infinitesimal movements in a face that tell us what someone is feeling; and they are the marks of style and voice, individual emotion being expressed through the breath and the lips and the fingers, the way the thing actually feels physically, the consciousness, as it were, being expressed second to second. So I can't really listen to music on ipods much. I just miss too much. Some big rock sounds that are highly compressed anyway don't sound so bad. And you can go to extremes of course, but it is surprisingly thrilling to hear the things you don't realize you're missing, like the intake of breath before a singer sings.