Letters to the Editor
Cary Tennis
Published Letters: 52 Editor's Choice: 12
-
Was I angry at the letter writer?
[Read the article: I don't understand men!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Cosmic Mojo -- I wasn't really angry at the letter writer in any conscious, clear way, but i was frustrated; the anger I was referring to was the result of frustration at not being able to adequately respond to the letter. Does that make sense? It came at the end of a frustrating few days, actually. My reference to it was part of trying to convey the sequence of inner experiences I had as i tried to empathize, articulate, come to grips with, find emotional resonance with, etc.
I'm not completely clear on why this column in particular became so much work for me, and took so many drafts, and why that tone of anger surfaced. But the anger, again, was, I think, frustration, anger at myself, then projected. After many drafts and attempts, what I was feeling, the only authentic thing I was feeling was my own frustration. and that had a way of turning into anger at the subject. As I think it sometimes does. As we struggle with our own discomfort and find an object for it. but I certainly didn't mean to declare in any kind of frontal way I Am Angry At You! It was meant more as an acknowledgement of an internal process, a blip on the radar, an observation of complexity and difficulty.
Anyway, I am so impressed with what is being said here. I really wish that woman the best, and I don't know if I was helpful or not, but one does what one can.
-
Pot should be legal
[Read the article: My husband went to jail for pot -- and now he's smoking again!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Just for the record, I don't think police busting into somebody's house and throwing them and their wife in jail for growing pot is a good thing. I think pot should be legal. But I also think it's a good thing to obey the law.
I fondly remember that rant Patricia Schwarz mentions, and I do appreciate being put in mind of it again. To tie the issue of prison reform to the issue at hand: However odious the laws, however wrongly the government intrudes on private lives, is it not reasonable to assume that one could work more effectively for prison reform by obeying the law and staying out of jail than by flouting the law and thus risking becoming an inmate? That has been my assumption, anyway, and it seems to lie at the heart of the uncomfortable contradiction one feels when obeying odious laws.
-
Passing this on from a reader
[Read the article: I am depressed, but that's not really the problem, is it?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Hi, I just wanted to pass this e-mail on, as it is so heartening:
Cary:
I just wanted to respond to the problem voiced in the letter from the man who says he cannot afford therapy. (May 18).
I am in the same category-I have no health insurance. Last year when I found out I had hypertension, I needed help but I found a low-cost medical clinic not far from where I live. I pay occasional donations and I am getting the care and medications I need and my high blood pressure is now under control. I also lost 36 pounds which helps a lot. Recently I felt I needed counseling and I called a few places and found a low-cost (sliding scale based on income) center. A session at this center costs only $12.00 if one has a very low income. It takes some leg work to find a place like this but the help does exist, at least in big cities. And other people can sometimes help, doing the leg work if the person in need of help is having a hard time. Anyone who has friends-true friends-can find somebody who will be able to offer some guidance toward the help needed. Friends even pass on the info about the therapy they use. I got one of my past therapists that way.
You know the hardest past of it is realizing that one needs the therapy. It's also very hard to help someone else to see that they would benefit from it. So once one is past that hurdle, evreything else can be found.
Please pass this info on to your readers. In Los Angeles, at any rate, we have Southern California Counseling, where I go.
Low-Income Writer With Lots Of Issues But With A Bit Of Moxie I Hope
-
Blows Against the Incivility
[Read the article: I've had it!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Don't get me wrong, I'm not for the wholesale breakdown of civic order. I just want to preserve a little personal equilibrium and don't really have a good plan for dealing with movie talkers, close talkers, line bumpers, slow drivers, clerks on cellphones, yellers at children, blind stroller pushers, gum smackers, spitters, hockers, the malodorous, the boundary impaired, elbowers, etc.
I've tried a lot of things, believe me. I've joined the ranks of the crazy -- those people you think are insane because they're publicly addressing a crowd. I've given speeches on Muni. I've addressed crowded theaters in a loud voice. I have. But those little eccentric gestures have no hope of changing public behavior.
However, if I could hand a person a card from the League of Public Civility outlining our program for a renewal of civic decency in American life, with an 800 number to call ... We would have to have a platform, a basic premise, and a set of agreed-upon standards. No talking in movie theaters. No spitting indoors. Etc. Whatever.
The price of publicly chastising another citizen for rudeness is high; it's very uncomfortable to call attention to yourself that way. It is not likely to become a common phenomenon. Nor are people like to be better trained by their parents and teachers. Likely the opposite is occurring, as economic pressures on parents and teachers increase, and people's social lives are privatized with personl electronics.
But a little card from the League of Public Civility ... dropped into a purse, left on a windshield ... I know it sounds a little creepy, but the basic idea is to have some program, a concrete suggestion, and of course, to make it completely legitimate in American life: An 800 number.