Are we suppose to feel sorry for you, or your husband and kids?

You need so much attention to fill the void in your heart created by being the unattractive, overweight girl for all those years that no one person (or group of people) will ever make you feel whole. So you try to get every person in every room to want you. And when you finally do, you move on from them because you need to keep that pipeline of adulation pumping full steam or you'll fall back into your self-loathing youth that's always right below the surface. And then everybody resents you for working so hard to make them love you and then just moving on when you're sure they've joined the fan club.

Step back. Stop hating yourself so much that you need to constantly be not just acknowledged or liked, but absolutely adored. Where is your family in all of this? Where is your husband? Why do you run to this pub so often in the first place? When does it all stop--when every guy in the world on a bar stool with a Harley-Davidson bandanna on his head pledges his undying love and affection for you? That moment will never come. So you should ask yourself how many people you need to "go through" before you finally find a way to love yourself enough so that a finite number of people around you (your husband, your kids, your family and a few close friends) can tell you that you are a lovable person and you'll finally believe it.

You said you can't adopt and without being specific you seemed to suggest that there are a host of compelling reasons that do NOT involve a preference for your own genetic progeny that prevent you from adopting.

Please, just adopt a child. You can do it. You need to do it. It will be good for you. It will be good for the child. You seem to have the heart for it. You have the desire even if you don't realize it. You have the resources even if you deny it. Just adopt. Some would be better off just writing off parenthood and devoting themselves to other worthy life pursuits. You don't fall anywhere near that category. Adoption is the answer for you. There is no other.

Don't be too hard on yourself or assume that extroverted, socially adept people find it all that easy. I would be considered very extroverted and tend to work well in groups, joke around, participate in group conversations, etc. But sometimes that takes effort and sometimes as I get older I wonder if it's worth the effort (when I was younger I always assumed that every bit of social interaction was valuable--I don't think so any longer).

Society needs all types. Extroverts, introverts, etc. You are a certain type and you have to find your space. You will. Just don't waste your time trying to be something you are not and assume is "superior" in some way as it will be futile and unsatisfying. "Be yourself" is the most trite advice that someone can offer, but that is what I would offer here because it will be the most beneficial. Or maybe the better advice is "be mostly yourself," and then pretend every once in a while to experience what the world outside is like.