I'm the mother of a 19 year old daughter. So in response to pxtot who wondered about how much fun it is to have a teenager, I can respond that it had moments - very brief moments - of wishing I could ship her off to a different planet for a few years/decades. Otherwise it was considerably more fun, entertaining, educational, inspiring and otherwise all around good times than even having a small child which was endlessly entertaining.

Her father and I split up when she was not quite 4 and another man came into my life a few years later and has been her father figure ever since, though her father is still a part of her life too. My current partner loves my daughter as if she were his own and she adores him. With few exceptions she always went on vacation with us, to dinner with us and participated in many adult activities with us. She was always a delight to have around, both as a young child and as a teen. Maybe I just got really lucky but her presence and that of her friends was always a pleasure. Maybe because I raised her in a small town without a lot of the icky distractions that kids can find in a big city. We weren't far from a big city and all of her grandparents, whom she visited regularly, were big city folk, so she wasn't deprived. And my partner and I were never deprived of adult activities when we wanted or needed them.

Now she's "all growed up" and in college 2000 miles away and we talk regularly and honestly and I feel accomplished and successful both in my career and as a mother. Having a child was an incredibly satisfying and fulfilling experience and the sacrifices I made were worth every single second. And even though until I was thirty three I didn't want kids, I am delighted I changed my mind. I thank God/dess every day that I was inspired to invite her into my life. I can't imagine my life without her. I think some of that is biological - our attachment to our children is both emotional and genetic. The biological part doesn't guarantee that we will be good parents but it lays the foundation for trying.

But would I recommend it to someone who didn't want to do it? I would say think about it carefully - it's not a year, or 5 years or even 18 years. It's a lifelong commitment. It does change your life and it does require sacrifice. On the other hand, when you're 45 and you wish you had not excluded that experience, you are left with few choices.

It is a significant first step to shop based on one's values (check out http://www.buyblue.org for help with this and if you're in the Denver area this page too: http://am760.net/pages/bluelist.html). Giving your hard-earned money to companies who either turn around and give it to Republicans or who use it to pay for advertising on hate-mongering shows on stations like KSFO is exactly like giving it DIRECTLY TO THE RNC. I hear the protests already - as an example, "but Walmart's cheaper" - and here is the reality - what you don't pay in the store, you pay in taxes both local, state and federal to cover Walmart's responsibilities. TANSTAAFL (there-ain't-no-such-thing-as-a-free-lunch for those of us who have not read Robert H. Heinlein) is ALWAYS true.

It's a good second step to pass this info to like-minded friends. Pass on the links above when you do so. Share your information.

However there's another important step: call or write the advertiser whose products you will no longer purchase and TELL THEM what you are doing. Make sure you tell a manager - and make sure they understand what you find offensive. Offering a compliment about their facility or product before you do so makes the impact of your withdrawal of support more powerful. Be polite, be clear, be concise. It's better to write a letter or make a phone call rather than email, but email is better than nothing.

Media is all about money. The sooner we get tough about who gets our money the sooner we can reduce the lies and the hate that right wing media like Melanie Morgan and Bill O'Reilly and Mike Savage spew. This a direct correlation.

Can you imagine the changes we could make if we all fully lived our values? Indeed "the personal is political." Righties know this, we need to get clear about this too. Simply bitching to the government will have nowhere near the impact and will just cause the right-wing to whine about "big government interference."

And for Ther Colonel - for 2 years I did listen to Michael Savage - the only radio I could pick up on a long, late night, 3-day-a-week drive with no working tape player. I would get home so stunned and sickened by his hateful spew that I'd spend another hour just trying to calm down enough to sleep. That you don't find his talk hateful says volumes about your values.

I have never encountered a REFORM synagogue, or a Jewish Renewal congregation that insisted on a kippah. Find one of them. If your practice is more "Conservative" (in the Jewish sense) perhaps your end of the compromise is to be okay with attending services at a synagogue that's more accepting of your husband's bare head.

Eventually though, you and hubby are going to have to address his problem with respect for others' beliefs when he is in their "house." The only folks I have encountered who regard respect for other beliefs as an affront to their religion are right-wing fundamentalists. Surely he considers himself to be more accepting and live-and-let-live than them.