I've been in a similar dilemma. I had cancer treatments over the past year, and I was surprised how many of my friends disappeared once they found out I was sick. It made me feel rather cynical and wonder why I bothered having friends, if they were too busy to send me an email or a get-well card. I've gotten over my cynicism, but it did make me think about what I want out of friendships, and how I might find it.

First, as Cary suggested, to get friends you have to go out and look for them. Every person won't turn into a lifelong pal, but you have to take the time to get to know people. I plan to look for situations where I can really get to know people - volunteering, perhaps, or in community groups - instead of depending on casual acquaintances I might meet at work. Once you leave your job, those friendships tend to fall away.

And secondly, you have to change yourself. Sometimes you have to ask people for what you want. This is hard for me, because I'm a shy person and I don't really feel comfortable saying "I need this" or "I want that". But most people are somewhat clueless (myself included!) They can't read your mind. If I tell a friend, "I really appreciate it when you call me and I don't always have to call you", most of them will get the message.

A lot of romance novels have been affected as well, although this hasn't been mentioned in most of the articles about the subject. (I guess because romance novels aren't "cool".) But romance readers buy a lot of books, and several romance sites have been encouraging romance readers to remind Amazon of how much they spend on books.

The issue isn't that some innocuous books have been de-listed, like Heather Has Two Mommies. I'm sure Amazon will put those books back, because of the backlash. But will they still de-list and de-rank other books, such as the romances and erotica that are less "politically correct"? Any time Amazon starts changing its search results because it's afraid someone will be offended, it affects everyone. Today it might be romance, tomorrow it could be political books or books that criticize Amazon.

The world is full of restaurants, hotels and coffee shops that depend on tourist dollars. The waitresses and hotel clerks and baristas are getting paychecks because there's someone out there willing to travel and spend money. You're helping some of those millions keep their jobs.

If you want to go to Paris, go to Paris. This may be your only chance to travel like this, so fulfill your dreams and go to the places that you've always wanted to visit. Wherever you go these days, there will be people who need the money that you're spending.

I would set some of this money aside as an emergency fund for the future. I've had the difficult experience of losing my job and getting sick - it really helps to have some money in the bank. I'm sure your grandmother wouldn't mind that you set some aside for a rainy day, especially with the current state of the economy. But take the rest and enjoy, and don't feel guilty.

One of my senators is known as a moderate Republican, and talks about health care on his web site. I thought he might be open to hearing from his constituents, so during the stimulus debate, I sent him a letter, telling him about my problems with health care. (I lost my job and then got cancer, and found myself unable to get insurance - I ran through my savings paying for COBRA.)

I didn't hear back from him until a few days ago, when I got an email, telling me that he only supported tax cuts and thought the money spent for the stimulus was wasted unless it led to cutting taxes. This seemed like an odd response - I'm sure it was a form letter, but you would think someone in his office would realize that an unemployed cancer patient doesn't put a high priority on tax cuts. It was just a recitation of Republican talking points and wasn't even related to this senator's previous positions or the bills he's sponsored in the past.

It definitely gave me the impression that the Republicans are lining up in lockstep - there is only ONE way and that's the GOP way. No dissenters allowed. We are the GOP Borg and the only thing we can say is "TAX CUTS TAX CUTS TAX CUTS". I think they're prepping for the battles ahead, bringing all their moderates in line.

I loathe Bush, and I'm horrified by torture. But at the same time, I'm unemployed, and I have cancer. I'm bankrupting myself in a desperate attempt to keep my health insurance, so I can get treated. I hate to say this, because it's terribly cynical, but this may be our only chance in a generation to get some kind of universal health care. If the price of that is that Bush and his minions go free - so be it.

I'm terribly afraid that if we investigate the Bush years, then the price will be that there will be no health care reform. I don't believe the Republicans are out - they'll be back. People who hate Republicans now will love them again in a few years. We have to decide what's most important, what we must get done before the Republicans get back in power. And to me, that's keeping people from dying because they don't have health insurance. That's passing some kind of health care reform, and making it strong enough that even the Republicans can't kill it. To me, there is no other priority.