At my last job, in a fairly small company, I was the only childless person in my department (30 people). I ended up with a lot of the extra tasks that had to be done in the late afternoon or evening, since everyone else had to go pick up the kids at daycare - which was OK since I got permission to come in later. I also sometimes filled in for the mommies and daddies who had to go to doctor's appointments, school plays, etc. Usually I didn't mind this too much - I figured they'd do the same for me.

Then my Dad was in the hospital for several weeks, and then died. I figured my coworkers with kids would be the first to understand why I had to leave early or miss work occasionally during that time. Surprisingly, my (male) bosses were very understanding, but many of my "mommy" coworkers were not helpful at all. Even when I asked them to do simple things, like stay an extra 15 minutes to turn off the equipment at the end of the day (something I usually did), their answer was "I have KIDS, I can't do that! You can't understand, you don't have kids like I do."

After that, I found myself much less willing to "fill in" so a mommy could go to a school play or soccer game. I wasn't going to check on their reactions or monitor their equipment while they were gone.

Unfortunately, going to church with his daughter may only encourage her to think that he's willing to be "saved" (and make her try even harder to "bring him over to Jesus"). I had a relative (and friend, at one point) who was a member of one of these churches. She'd always been religious, but a few years ago she became even more fervent about it. At first, I tried to be supportive - if she asked me to attend a concert at her church, I'd attend. If she said her church was having a bake sale and needed volunteers, I'd go along.

I thought I was being supportive of her, not her church, but I discovered that, in her mind, every time I attended a church event, she thought I was one step closer to converting. Every time I said something nice about her church, she took it as a sign that I was ready to find God, and she just had to try harder to get me there. When I finally told her bluntly that I was never going to change my mind about this, she was surprised and hurt - she felt that I'd been "leading her on" by going to church events, making her think that I would change my beliefs eventually.

If the letter writer goes to church with his daughter on a regular basis, she may see it as a sign that he can be "saved", and she may find it even more disappointing when it doesn't work out. I would find something else to do with her instead on Sunday mornings - not just sit around relaxing (even if that's what he usually does) because it will give her too many chances to think "I'd rather be in church right now", but doing something together, that reflects his beliefs. That could be a different type of church, it could be volunteering, or it could be some other kind of activity they can enjoy together.

49 Up has been out on DVD for a while, and I grabbed it on Netflix as soon as it came out. I hope more people find it on PBS. Although I loved the early episodes, I thought the best one in the series was the last installment, 42 Up. It really showed the changes in each participant's life, and how far they'd come since their early days. 49 Up was enjoyable, but not quite as satisfying.

But if it introduces people to this marvelous series, it's a great starting point. I hope more people look up these films on DVD - they're all available, starting with 7 Up, and 42 Up has a fascinating commentary by the director.

The "free market" doesn't work very well for non-hospital medical care either. I had a high deductible medical plan for many years, the kind that Bush and other Republicans think is so wonderful. The problem is, it's nearly impossible to check prices, or budget for medical expenses, because almost no doctors or hospitals will tell you what they charge. The insurance companies have tables of rates for various procedures, but they won't share those with you either. So even for routine care, you can't find the cheapest provider, or budget $X for your doctor's visits, because there's almost no way to find out in advance what they will cost. (And then, if you go to a doctor, and you require additional tests, you are usually sent to one specific lab or testing center that the doctor uses - a lab that also won't quote prices.) Not exactly free market.