I'm a scientist. And I could tell you stories of betrayal that would make your head spin. Graduate students blackballed out of their careers because they disagreed with their graduate advisors. Research results stolen or falsified, papers that represented years of work being published under someone else's name. Academia is the worst, but you'll find it in industry as well - scientists being cut out of papers or patents because of personal or romantic disagreements. Layoffs carried out in incredibly callous ways.

It happens to everyone, in every field. Creative types don't have a monopoly on betrayal or pain - they're just slightly more articulate in whining about it.

I'd be much more sympathetic if you crusaded against any type of betrayal, instead of claiming that creative types somehow "feel" these betrayals more deeply and are more hurt by them.

Some years ago, I remember reading that Amy Dacyczyn (of the Tightwad Gazette) tested whether hand washing or a dishwasher used less water and energy. She determined that they were just about even. She was looking at it from a money saving perspective, rather than a green perspective, but using the dishwasher may not be a big issue. (The study was done some time ago, but dishwashers have become even more efficient in the meantime).

The big energy usage of the dishwasher is the drying cycle, even in "economy" mode. If you stop your dishwasher before the drying cycle starts, and just leave it sitting open, your dishes will dry and you'll save energy - probably enough to offset using the "bad" commercial dish detergent!

I try to use natural cleaning solutions (usually cleaners like vinegar, rather than expensive "green" products) but I won't give up my dishwashing detergent - that's one product where the name brands seem to do a better job.

This situation involves more questionable issues, beyond the brother-sister issue. The girl's age would raise a red flag with me even if they weren't related.

However, I'm adopted, and back when I was dating, I sometimes wondered - how would I know if I started dating a relative? I searched for my birth parents a few years back, just to get medical information, and I found out that my birth father works in the same (somewhat unsuual) field that I do, but he refused to give me his name or any identifying information. I could have met him and never known. (Probably a good thing I never had a fling with one of my professors.)

As far as genetic issues, repeatedly intermarrying within a limited gene pool is far more dangerous than a single marriage between close relatives, even as close as brother and sister. The rates of genetic disease among the Amish are astronomical, even though the Amish don't marry their siblings and first cousin marriage isn't all that common. But no one is telling the Amish that they have to marry outside their group, even though their risk is very high.

I'm surprised only one post has mentioned the health insurance question. College medical services are not always great, but at least there is something. Students who are forced out of school and who aren't covered by a parents' insurance may find they have few options.

I went to a therapist a few years back, when I didn't have health insurance. And once I ran out of money, my therapy ended. The only suggestion was that I either get a second job to pay for it or max out my credit cards. I was referred to a "low cost therapy" program that had a more than 2 year waiting list. The sliding scale programs told me that I made too much money to qualify (even though I was barely breaking minimum wage). I was basically told "too bad, come back when you're either dying or destitute - otherwise we can't help you."

For some suicidal students, a leave of absense may be the best solution. But forcing students out of school is nothing more than CYA - so what if forcing the student out cuts them off from needed therapy, it's not our problem any more. The only important thing is making sure they can't sue.

My parents both died when I was fairly young, and so I also had to deal with all the "stuff" they left. I also live in a small apartment, so I couldn't just put it all in a closet or attic. I just couldn't keep everything, and I had to pick just a few things that I had room to keep.

I would suggest keeping just a few of the paintings. Two or three paintings will help you remember your mother just as well as twenty or thirty. You don't have to hang them all - you could just hang one and then switch it for a different one every few months. Paintings store nicely in the space behind your sofa, if you have it up against a wall. Or you might want to ask at an art store for a better way to store them.

Take pictures of the other ones. You will still have the memories of these items, even though you don't actually have the paintings - you can show them to your daughter one day. And then let them go. You might want to donate them - the art store or an art school might have suggestions on who might want them. It may be painful to let them go, to think of the paintings being given away to someone who doesn't value their history the way you do. But try to remember, they're just things. The real value is in your memories, not in the canvas and paint.