Not in a theatrical film, of course, but haven't there been filmed versions of the Nativity story available on TV for decades? I don't know who did them, but they're ancient color films, clearly financed by some Protestant church. They mostly show actors urgently talking in front of concrete and stucco walls (so much cheaper than trying to build a set in a studio, plus sunlight is free lighting) with a few camels and goats thrown in for visual appeal. And to make sure everyone knows it's reverent, all the essential dialog is transcribed from the King James Bible, and no character says anything that would surprise anybody. And they were easily identified by their faded color, since those film prints had been run in church schools for years.

These films were generally run on independent TV stations on Easter Sunday, although these days most stations wouldn't give up the revenue from real estate seminar infomercials in that time slot. (TV stations no longer have to serve the public in any sense. Thank you, Ronald Reagan, for allowing local TV to be irresponsible.) In all honesty, it's something I wouldn't watch or care about, but some people would, and it's no problem if someone wants to run such a show.

That long ramble boils down to my point; nothing in the trailers or TV commercials suggests that "The Nativity Story" is anything beyond the old conventional filmings of the Bible story. Even the astonishing elements Ms. Zacharek mentions (a Mary that's actually concerned about the child she's carrying - what a shock!) is the sort of "updating" that has been done in TV Biblical epics for at least the last ten years.

I suppose someone thought of tapping that big right-wing Christian market for "The Passion of the Christ" with this film. Anyone want to guess on the final attendance on this film? I'll bet it never makes the #1 spot.

Unless Havrilesky underwent a personality transplant (something that they haven't even attempted on the anime series "Ghost in the Shell", where they can only transplant cyberbrains) somebody with some life experience and understanding of humanity wrote this column. Nobody's writing can improve that much, that quickly. Maybe this is "Ghost in the Column."

About "The Nine," I don't believe either it or ABC's other hiatus-bound series "Six Degrees" will return. The intelligence of the television audience may be underestimated on a regular basis, but I believe that producers and writers who deliberately underestimate the audience stand a good chance of being bitten by them.

These shows, like "Lost," have tried to hold viewers with the promise of a big dramatic payoff if they only keep the faith and keep watching. Unfortunately, like their predecessor "Twin Peaks," there is no payoff for these shows. There is no secret, no great truth, no heaven and no God. Those producers who believe their series will create a church full of True Believers are surprised to find their flocks turning atheist.

The person who is ghosting Havrilesky this week had a good start with the Johnstown Flood Museum metaphor, even pointing out that the whole sick thing is a distraction from the political and social problem; the rich and powerful killed all those people, a truth today's elites can never acknowledge. But, he or she didn't see the parallel with these "traumedies." Their sturm, drang, blood and lust are distractions from the basic problem with today's television: the producers, production companies and networks who bring us these shows have no connection with their audiences.

And they're afraid that someone will come along, on YouTube or somewhere else, and show them up as incompetent phonies with some kind of new media production. Hey, there's another flood parallel - with Katrina, Michael Brown's incompetence and the Bush Administration's disasterous mid-term election. Perhaps something that Not-Havrilesky can adapt in his or her future columns.

As for "Grey's Anatomy," like nearly every medical show that ever existed (one of the current exceptions is "House") it's a soap opera. Soap operas may dither with ideas about capital-L Life, as the voiceover narrations at the start and end of each episode suggest at. But they never commit to any ideas; it's only emotional turmoil they wish to exploit.

There really isn't anything wrong with that. Soap operas provide comfort to some people, even if they nauseate me, and if people like them, good. But saying they're something beyond that, giving them some significance, is an exercise in fantasy. (And those voiceover narrations suggest something else; the writers don't know how to teach their morals naturally, through the drama. They have to come out and tell the viewers.)