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Published Letters: 216
Editor's Choice: 8
...the key to success in relationships is about not allowing a difficult one to pass through the gate! Shut 'em down. Turn 'em back.
So if we build this fortress, say, around your heart...encircled you with trenches and barbed wire?
Alienating and isolating human beings in a difficult situation bespeaks someone with a leaky boundary. Fear of falling into the deep end of a human interaction is worse than the actual act. And doubly devastating to everyone concerned.
There is no, "out there." The universe is chalk-full of infinite possibilities all coexisting at the same time -- now. If I can identify anything, "out there," good or bad, it is because it is "in here" causing me either great joy or great pain. I claim credit for the joy and blame the pain on someone else. That way I can pretend that this is all about making the world a better place for me to live in and requires me to have no part or responsibility in actually allowing the world to be this better place I envision it to be.
Shut people down. Shun them. Ostracize them. Shoot the messenger.
Unfortunetly, the messengers just keep coming back when it's me who's sending them out into the world beyond my drawbridge in the first place. I need to get conscious if I truly want to put an end to these infuriating messengers.
And that's really why we find depressed, unhappy and/or difficult people so taxing -- I have to wake my lazy butt up before I can allow new data in from the world as I would have it be.
I'm not saying we have to french kiss every frog that comes to the pond...but we still need to make the whole world a safe place to live and grow up in.
