Letters to the Editor
mappeal
Published Letters: 20 Editor's Choice: 1
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I don't get the argument
[Read the article: Feminist blog goes to the dogs]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Are we supposed to only get dogs from shelters or are we not supposed to have pets at all?
I think its great when people adopt from shelters and I don't support pet shops that sell dogs and cats because I have never heard of a "nice" puppy mill. I have never heard the argument that getting dogs from breeders is wrong. Its just an option. Breeders are usually (although I am sure not always) pretty caring people and several of my friends who have gotten their dogs from breeders have been put through the ringer to make sure that they are appropriate dog owners. Shelters, for the most part, do the same, although pet shops seem happy to trade money for an animal regardless of the person's ability to care for said animal.
I have a purebreed, I didn't choose that because I care so much about my dog's appearance or want to frame his papers to show my friends, but because I wanted a dog with certain personality traits who would be ok with kids (yes, I know its not guarantee and that many shelter dogs are great with kids but with a shelter dog its even more of a crap shoot). Of the three places one can get an animal, shelters and breeders look like equally good, albeit imperfect, options with different trade offs. We don't live in a perfect world and if we can only operate in "ideal" circumstances it seems we will be pretty hard up to make any choices.
I know I look after my dog and love him. I know I look after my kid and love her. It breaks my heart that some kids and some animals are abused but that has less to do with where the child or animal came from. It seems to have more to do with where they end up.
Wouldn't be much better if all animals came from responsible breeders and went to responsible homes and if we didn't need shelters anymore? Wouldn't that be the ideal world? One where shelters were obsolete? It would be a wonderful world if all children were in loving homes too whether with their biological or adoptive parents. There are so many issues being discussed in this thread, all of which are very complicated, but doesn't it all boil down to wanting people and animals not to have to suffer because they are under the control of someone malicious? Wouldn't discussing how to make that happen be more constructive?
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Pressure to have more than one
[Read the article: Greening the mommy wars]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]We decided to have only one child and that has worked well for us but its amazing how many strangers feel they have the right to give me hell for that. Most bizarre of all is that the most common reason given to me is that my daughter could die. Um, and so then I'd have an emergency back-up kid and everything would be fine? Thanks for that little ray of sunshine, complete stranger.
My answer to any fundementalists on this issue is that I believe in strictly interpreting the bible and since marriage is between ONE man and ONE woman (according to them) and I am supposed to go forth and multiply its very simple. 1x1=1.
Another popular argument is that my daughter needs someone to play with. She has lots of friends and if she really wants a baby, she can hopefully decide to have one of her own some day. In the meantime, she will have to do without a permanent playdate because it kind of seems to me that the number of children in the family should be decided by the adults not the 6 year old who may not fully grasp what it means to bring another child into the household. BTW, she has never asked for a brother or sister, but I know some kids do.
I can't get over the insensitivity of being berated by a stranger for only having one child (or none for that matter). For all they know I may have been unable to have more.
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Any other "only" children out there sick of this too?
[Read the article: Greening the mommy wars]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Thanks sclatter.
You just made my point again. If you only have one child you get to hear about it from people who had sibblings and want to paint those of us without them with a wide brush.
One time, I dated a guy with sibblings and, guess what? He was scarred.
My mom had sibblings and was scarred by that. She and her sibblings all hate each other and are mean to each other.
I have friends with sibblings and they have "multiple child issues".
Honestly. I don't really think that having sibblings is a bad thing, I'm just trying to illustrate what a strange prejudice that is to hold. You turn the argument around and its ridiculous. Its a whole other, "mommy war".
We're all scarred by one thing or another. Its just such a bizzare rational that only children have more issues than those with sibblings. What has "scarred" me most about having and only child and being one, is the bias against us. This stuff makes me f&$king crazy. There isn't just one right answer here. One choice isn't right and the other is wrong. Being a working mom isn't the one right answer and being a stay at home one isn't the one right answer. Really people. Everyone gets to decide for themselves thank goodness and each choice will have good and bad sides.
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Congrats
[Read the article: Afghanistan's next top model]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Good news little ladies of Afghanistan, you get to move from a burqua to a bikini. Things are really looking up as I am sure that being in a beauty contest can only mean you will no longer be exploited and degraded.