Letters to the Editor
domini
Published Letters: 1090 Editor's Choice: 76
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I won't be getting Lasik
[Read the article: LASIK surgery ruined my eyes]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I have a few friends who got it done, and went through the convert stage of trying to get everyone else to do it. Nope!
I have really horrible eyesight, but I prefer glasses. I don't get why they did both eyes at one time, either. Did the LW go to a mill? Usually the surgery is around $2-3,000 in my area, per eye.
I'm a marginal candidate for the surgery. I would not get it without a opthamologist sign off. I had one optometrist at Wal-Mart try to talk me into it, despite the real problems in my left eye. My opthamologist said "not a good idea for the left eye". You always have to get a good, objective second opinion on this stuff. I'm going to second the people who think the LW lacked judgement here.
I also think the LW was the victim of a mill, and there is relief for that, no matter what the release says. Malpractice is not protected by law, and this surgeon did not appear to use standard practices.
I don't think this is the friend's fault, although he needs to be told so he won't try to railroad other people again. We have a responibility to do research before we go into any non-necessary medical intervention. LW's situation can be improved, perhaps, but until LW sees and opthamologist she/he won't know. I think the LW sounds depressed and paralyzed.
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Will
[Read the article: LASIK surgery ruined my eyes]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I stated that an OPTOMITRIST (the ones who fit you for glasses and contacts; they do simple eye exams at storefronts- in some states they are licensced for LASIK) at Wal-Mart tried to talk me into LASIK. I did not say I went to him LOOKING for LASIK. I went to a OPTHAMOLOGIST (the MD who does eye surgery and treats eye disease) for an eye exam, and the opthamologist said I was a poor candidate. I did not say I was going to Wal-Mart for LASIK.
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Why is being nice so important?
[Read the article: My boyfriend's ex puts me down in public]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Do NOT share a ride with this woman to the reunion. Why she asked to share is just besides the point. Who needs to be cooped up with crazy for that long?
Who cares if others think you are crazy or "not nice"? The woman is being mean to you, and they are not exactly protecting you. This is a form of "crazymaking behavior, coming from a crazy person who wants to screw with your head. Crazy is contagious. Stay away.
Why is it so important to be "nice" or not present as "crazy" to the vicious and their accomplicies?
First, DO NOT go to her parties. That is "rubbing her nose in it". Space is a good thing. On the other hand, the fact that she asked for a ride makes it seem that the "ex" is looking for contact.
WHen she makes the comments, the "What did you say" is a good come back. "Do you really mean that the way it sounded?" is also good. A straight out "What a mean thing to say" is good to. SIlence is great if you can pull it off. "Why would you say something that nasty?" Is good. WHen she protests that you are "oversensitive", come back with "Normal people don't like being insulted." or "You need to take your meds."
I would give the ex a wide berth. The group seems far too incestuous. It's time to cultivate shared friends and new places all of your own.
Why hide the accomplishments? Why not have BF brag on them?
Ultimately, this is a case of "ex at the wedding". Don't create upsetting situations for yourself. Stop worrying about her "dictating your actions" and worry about your comfort instead. When you die, no one will say "but she was so classy to her boyfriend's ex" at your funeral.
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Music undermined the Soviet Union
[Read the article: Beyoncé Knowles, freedom fighter]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]It will do the same for Wahhabism. Religious fanatics have always complained of American black music, and the complaints make it more popular. The complaints themselves smell of easy hysteria and hypocrisy. These people are afraid that somehere, somehow, someone is having fun. Fun and pleasure, you see, are dangerous. Music and dancing are dangerous because you should be working all of the time. SOmeone might lose some power or profit if you think of yourself. What can be more dangerous to control than pleasure?
Freedom is choice. Work or play, or the timing of your work and play. How you play describes who you are. When you limit choice, you put yourself on the side of the enemy. Mainstream leaders try to use the bogeyman of music and media to frighten people into line. The majority of adults reject that, and it merely makes the anti-pleasure nuts look silly.
The fear of jazz is particularly telling. After all, the waltz was dangerous in it's day. Jazz-funk is still a fearsome force, making us move and forget our troubles. To enjoy the feel, the beat, the rhtym? You can't be controlled!
You can never beat the music. The music will always win. Fun is always greater than fear!