Traister got her when she discussed the other anti-feminist woman's take back of her advocacy of staying at home. O'Beirne outright lied in her characterization of it, was called on it, and backpedalled ineffectually. She cites no sources. She doesn't speak for all woman. As for her Larry Summers' remarks and women "innately want to stay home" stuff, let me help her: China, Russia, and India all have more female scientists than male, and they use higher standards for entrance into grad school. Are these other nations women not female? It's called social conditioning. In underdeveloped countries women jump at working to support their families, because men die, leave, or become incapacitated. Work is fulfilling on it's own, and it saves you from poverty.

Perhaps if Linda Waite had been the interviewer, this would have been the fight people seem to want. O'Beirne's comments about wages would have been immediately refuted (Waite et al have shown that white female mothers make less; black female working mothers suffer no loss of income. O'Beirne's comments can't explain that abnormality. WOrking fathers make more because working mothers take the hit.)

The real problem for O'Beirne is that most men understand that their children need their presense at home, too. These men do more now, especially with their kids. Men parent differently, and children need both types of parenting. O'Beirne also has a problem called relaity TV. Wife Swap and Trading Spouses don't exactly portray stay at home moms very well (lazy would be the kindest epitaph on the Fox or Television Without Pity boards). Stay at homes are increasingly being portrayed as self-indulgent on these reality shows. More people watch those shows than will ever read this woman's book. Add the reality of layoffs, and staying at home looks like a big risk today.

O'Beirne's already lost. 60%+ (by Census) of women with small children work outside of the home. Stay at homes are increaingly higher income women who can afford to. The studies show most of these women are staying at home because they were in jobs that were not flexible for motherhood (law, certain business, etc). Survey after survey shows that stay at home mothers want flexible jobs; they would prefer to work part or full time flex jobs, not just "stay at home ALL workers want more flexible jobs, but especially ALL mothers.

They show up for Thanksgiving. Most new grandmothers want to HELP, so she probably expected to be told what to do. Instead, LW cooks it herself. Control freak much?

SHe won't hand over the baby (my mother did this one). Grandmothers LOVE holding babies. That's pretty common. Don't ask, just take. That's why LW is the mother. Or enjoy the fact that someone els IS taking care of the baby, and be grateful.

She's vapid because Miss Holier Than Thou PhD (I have a PhD, too, so I get to say this) is too obnoxious to understand there are many type of intelligence. She's also too insecure to acknowledge that many things give us worth, not just our degrees. This MIL raised her perfect husband. Talk about his childhood, ask about her history.

The DIL is displacing anger on her MIL. It reminded my of the Waldman piece from a few weeks ago, where she built a competition with her mother in law out of thin air. DIL needs some therapy.

The MIL is acting the way grandmothers do. This LW is controlling, insecure, and to be honest, ugly in her need to be on top. That probably explains why people are siding with the mother in law. That REALLY explains why the HUSBAND is siding with his mother.

I love my MIL. She made an effort to get to know me, and I her. We are in entirely different professions, with different educations, and experiences. The difference is, I am interested in her profession, her experiences, her judgement, and her love. I understand that what she does is done out of love, and I don't take little cultural things so seriously. I have a good relationship with her. DIL could do the same, if she could take the stick out of her butt and aim it at her own abusive mother, who she speaks of not at ALL. THAT's telling. Either her mother is behaving perfectly (HAH-doubt it) or it's ok for HER family to be putzes. Her silence is telling.

LW, shut up and go to a therapist.