"I haven't purposely been trying to be inflammatory," Bachmann said in one recent interview. "I'm trying to just explain to the American people what's happening here in Washington, D.C." But, and this is just my opinion, she might be better off if she worried more about her constituent service and less about making a splash in the media.

She doesn't serve the constituents. That's why she almost lost that seat. She needs to worry more about the people who elected her.

Some time as a working stiff would help her return to the real world, too. She's in a fairly safe district, but the downturn has hit now. The next election will be interesting.

Ideology versus commmon sense. Bachman is losing on the common sense side. That's a problem. That, and her hypocrisy on earmarks. She's against government, but not taking government money. She doesn't do that much either. Here's her voting record. http://www.votesmart.org/voting_category.php?can_id=54675 She's pretty much a money making, non-doing machine.

Simple explanation: she's just a politician who runs off at the mouth instead of making people's lives better.

I really don't understand this. I might go visit my siblings, but I don't go vacation with them. That's expensive, and we do not have the same tastes. Vacation is something I do for my selfish pleasure, and I tend to limit it to hubby and/or kids. No in laws, no sibs, nada.

If they are exclusionary, why work so hard to have relationships with them? Again, I'm trying to understand this. There are people who want me around. Why waste time being around the people who do not, even if they are blood? Why be around people who make me feel left out? What's the motivation? Why bother to fix it? Am I just insensitive?

If they naturally fall into a clique, let them. Just refuse to lend the money, refuse the comfort, tell them to go to the clique. Why are you putting out for people who won't do the most elementary of things for you? SHouldn't we treat our family better than friends?

The word is "triangulation". It comes from family therapy. It's a family dynamic that includes scapegpating and forming unhealthy alliances to keep one member out. When that member says "screw it" the alliance usually tries to bring them back in.

Let them go. If they want a relationship, have it on your terms. Don't be so accommodating and nice. If they can't help with the dishes, don't do them. WHen they complain, tell them. If they make no room for you in the kitchen, go talk to the men (and watch how fast the screaming and the "we need you in the kitchen" hits- oh my God, don't sit with the men when there's women's work to be done!)

But why go on vacation with them? They sound irritating.

Thank you. All Americans are at replacement rate. The idea that "real" Americans" are white and won't be the majority by 2050 is really irritating. I'm black, I was born here, and I think I'm a real American, too!

Both sides need to get a grip. Some people are good parents despite early ambivalence. Some are not. I've seen enough bad parents to not want people to have kids based on other's wishes. You need to want the child yourself.

LW, by her own admission, shouldn't.

Now the people claiming all parents are unhappy need to put a sock in it. My child could die tomorrow. I could die tomorrow. Only neurotics pull out those rationales. If we go through life avoiding experiences because something bad could happen, we won't be living, we'd just be existing.

If you don't think you'd be a good parent, that's legit. Arguing that parenting is an awful experience is not.

I hope you will take the advice to get some help, a sitter, and to keep writing heart. Autism takes many forms, and it is common for marriages to be strained. You need social contact.

There are others who have been in the same boat. But you have earned a little time to yourself.

My doctor told me once that mothers need to take time for themselves or the stress will manifest as illness. He prescribed an hour a day of me time. I hope you take his prescription.

You are 38. You do not want them. WHen you want them this is a hard thing to do. They will drive you to despair.

I am dealing with a person who hated kids and works with them professionally (go figure). It is not a happy situation. If you have no patience, you like things as you are, if you are pessimistic (and you letter really seems to imply) somewhat neurotic, don't have kids. The kids will pick up on your dislike.

I got my PhD before having kids. If you have them, you won't finish. You don't sound like you have the personality that will allow that.

He can volunteer at Boys and Girls Club, at the Y, at a children's institution (music, etc). Let him try to herd more than one at a birthday party. Let him coach something.