Letters to the Editor
domini
Published Letters: 1053 Editor's Choice: 76
-
You have to be kidding me
[Read the article: Free theater for nursing babies?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]"And yes, I do have a child, and yes I did stay home with him. Two or three years of no real nights out is just part of the package."
It is not. That is so absolutely wrong that it begs for a response. Pump the milk, store it, and get a babysitter, or you won't HAVE a marriage in 2 or 3 years. The best thing you can do for your child is have a stable marriage. Marriages need that time away, so people remember that they are married, and not just parents. Partners need attention, too.
I breastfed and I still went out to dinner with my husband. We have a good marriage, and that's partially because I kept my marriage's health in mind. The Mommy police who demand Mommy martyrdom, stir up trouble and try to judge mothers on silly stuff deserve the STFU. Please. We do not have to give up everything. We need to balance the stuff. Moderation is key, especially in balancing needs.
I did not breastfeed in public. No, I would not take an infant to a movie because of the overstimluation issue, and the germ issue. But I do realize that mothers need a break, and mothers who fall into the martyrdom mode are at risk for depression and other problems.
This is what breast pumps were made for. Come on people, the Medella version is very good, and there are several good hand pumps on the market. There's easy compromises here, that allows for breaks without inflicting crying children on other adults.
-
The police are actually pretty good about this now
[Read the article: "When women say 'No,' they mean 'Yes'"]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]The police look for inconsistencies in the story (that's what got the Runaway Bride- her false claim of rape against a generic Hispanic male had so many inconsistencies that the police immediately suspected she lied). Tearing, abrasions, internal bruising all show up. Skin or material under the fingernails (as in this case) is an indication of lack of consent as well. Since a number of serial rapists these days use condoms (one sicko in Chicago does that), DNA is not always involved. A few date rape drugs disappear in the bloodstream, but they have well-defined syptoms, known to the police.
Are there still incompetent officers who won't listen to any victim? Yes. Are there still bad officers who will arrest any minority male on the word of a majority female? Yes. But the number grows fewer as more and more officers are screeened and trained within the newer techniques.
Rape is a very painful experience. That's something some this site don't get. It's not sex. The woman bleeds, and she's in as much pain as a man anally raped. Think of someone hitting a man's penis with a hammer, and you have the same feeling as having a pelvic bone, uterus, and urethal tube hit by a stiffened penis. Normal men do not enjoy hurting their partners, so I think the troll arguing rape is just a jerk wanting to get off is really insulting all normal men while trying to insult feminists. Rapists enjoy hurting women, and often can't ejaculate unless they are hurting or humiliating the victim. It's the power, in the orgasm they get from hurting, beating, restraining, and controlling,t hat gets them off, not the penetration. This is why it is easy for serial rapists to become serial sex murders who don't penetrate the victims- they get off on the pain, suffering, and feeling of power, and can often ejaculate just by looking. Think of the BTK killer- he's a power and control sex offender, and he got sexual arousal from the binding, etc, not from any act that we would normally think of as sex.
While I don't like some of the hyperbole of campus feminists (all men are NOT potential rapists), the opponents are worse. They destroy their own credibility by trying to minimize and defend the indefensible.
-
Mental illness
[Read the article: How do I reverse my mother's curse?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]The grandfather punched her son (and denies it), and the grandmother is verbally abusive? The LW wants to repair some sort of relationship? Does she need the grandfather to make a false accusation of elder abuse on her son to get a clue? Does she need her mother to write these missives to her son? They are both mentally ill. Until they get medication and show signs of being more in sync with reality, run way. No comment, no return letter (or in pieces, as LauraBB suggested,etc. Just run. To talk is to allow negotiation, and one can not negotiate with mental illness.
The son gets a choice- in school or own place and job in one month, or out. Start packing his stuff up. If LW loves him, she'll do this. He needs to learn how to be responsible now. Standing up to grandcreeep is a good start.
This LW has bad boundaries. I hope she puts her