I'm listening to her on Lehrer. She's not blowing smoke up Colbert's butt. That is giving her too much credit. She actually is like what we saw on that video, and she was sincere. She also seems to think she's a liberal activist worried about the poor.

She's an obnoxious bitch with no manners or hometraining, but I digress. She's just stupid. She thinks gays are more welcome in the REPUBLICAN PARTY (obviously she's NEVER heard of the Log Cabin Republicans' experience). She thinks women are more welcome in the REPUBLICAN PARTY than the Democratic Party (she's never listened to Pat Robertson, et al, either) She thinks fundamentalists value women, and motherhood, MORE than progressives. She thinks the Republican Party is a "Big Tent" (she's not talking to libertarians or moderates, either, or anyone whose EVER ran afoul of Tom DeLay). She's quoting John Q. Public, the fool behind the failed "SuperPredator" predictions, and the nut who is partly responsible for the disastrous disparate penalties for coke versus crack. She thinks that to avoid poverty, you only have to 1. finifh high school 2. delay bearing your first child to 18 and 3. marry that child's father. Now divorce makes no appearance, the loss of working class high school diploma jobs makes no appearance, women's and men's post secondary education (the true factor that lifts people out of poverty- most jobs that pay a living wage require either a technical or associate's degree or more). Layoffs make no appearance here. She's a delusional woman who was bored teaching high school English and first felt like she accomplished something when she had twins.

She's basically a neo-con who is still calling herself a Democrat, and trying to blame women in the workplace and the Democratic party for the Iraq War.

I was willing to believe she was simply a smart manipulator. Now I think she's just a spoiled woman trying to claim an "Activist" title for herself without having to actually help people. What a selfish, lazy bitch. If she says "fabulous" one more time, I hope she gets hit by a lightening bolt.

Salon, please don't give her any more free publicity. Just link to one of her interviews, and let us sit back.

No commitment means he an see whoever he wants.

It's hard to be with someone who wants no commitment when you want one. If you let him get in the habit of being there, then you, LW, deprive yourself of the ability to meet a man who does want a commitment.

Men don't usually lie about this. If he says he doesn't want a commitment, believe him.

There's plenty of good men out there,even in Carribean culture. This man is "not that into you". Be open to one who is.

We women forget it is NOT our job to "soften his blow" or "heal him".

Besides, he spent 17 years with another woman WITHOUT a commitment. Don't you deserve better than that? You sound like you are compassionate and lovely.

Bottom line: you deserve better than this. Don't let him get use to using you for convenience. Right now, you are a convenience.

In the words of my husband "A real man can take care of himself". Find a man who can take care of himself.

Every Jamaican woman I know would kick his tail to the curb? Every Haitian and Dominican, too. Represent baby.

Why does he get the right to set "labels"? What is it ok for him to act this way "on his terms"? Who dies and left him in charge? Why does he get all of the control here, just because he's fragile? There are plenty of men out there who are not "healing" from this. Whether he lived with or was married, don't get involved with a man in selfish mode coming off a relationship, or who tells you up front he is not serious. He is being honest. Honor it, and tell him to get an apartment and date you.

His self-inflicted "problem" is not more important that her wish for a commitment. If he is not that serious, he doesn't need to be living with LW, because living with someone implies "that serious". If he gets the benefits of "serious" without having to reciprocate, disrespect will follow. When she finds him with another woman in HER house, he'll remind her that he "wasn't that" serious" and is NOT committed to her. I don't want that scenario for the LW.

If she won't stand up for herself and set reasonable expectations, she won't be treated well. If she does not think she is worth a commitment, and does not act like it, she will never get one. She's being too nice.

Living together is not proof of commitment. Refusing to marry the mother deprived her of rights of inheritance to his property, his health insurance, his finances, etc. Marriage is a LEGAL commitment with legal protections and benefits, and living together is not the same at all. Married people have the right of a court to divide property for example, and protection from certain joint bills. He has NOT shown himself capable of a full commitment, because he refused this woman commitment before the law to allow this access to his assets and himself.

Act less serious. Don't live together until you ARE committed. Or expect playa behavior, because when you allow the benefits of commitment without a commitment, your gift will not be respected.

I was not insulting Carribean culture. I was telling the LW there's a lot of good men out there, even if she limits herself to Carribean culture here in the US. I didn't see any insults to Carribean culture here.