He told the court personnel what they wanted to hear. Medical personnel were going,"no, don't do this" but he was able to hold it together and appear ok in front of the judge. Bipolar people look normal- they are not shaking, screaming, stereotypes. The first time he got unsupervised custody, he took the two kids two counties over, shot them in the head, and shot himself in the head. They found the bodies in the van. Yes, it was the 80s, and they used the term manic-depressive then. We know more now about management. But to act like mentally ill people can not be manipulative, mean, or vicious is naive.

Yes, the wife needs help. But mickisue and Anon Two assume that with the right medicine this will NOT happen again. I know that's not true. Weight gain, hormonal changes, major stresses, etc all and can affect how the meds work. Assuming that she will never hurt the children is just naive. If she can threaten him, she can threaten them. WHile some people are helped by the medical management, not everyone can be. Medicine is not a magic bullett.

My faith in the medical management of some of the more extreme cases is not there. That's because I sit on a hospital board as well as have personal experience. Professionals will tell you that the medicines are oversold, that some can not be helped.

WHile bipolar people can act anxious and depressed, they are not the same diseases.

I'm sure he is angry. Angry is counter-productive, as the obsession with the house shows. Of course he needs to get her help. Getting her away from the kids is reasonable. I'm not sure staying married to her is going to help either of them. Being married means that he has to deal with her and the kids. He's overwhelmed. He needs to concentrate on the kids. That may not be good for her, but she's an adult. Her needs are secondary now.

Telling her it can not happen again and she stay there is actually considered acceptable by some mental health practitioners. It's a boundary he's enforcing for some of them.

In Linehan's dialectical behavior therapy, which is usually used for BPD but is beginning to be used in bipolar, the idea that people should not be enabled, that there needs to be consequences, and that you should be clear and direct is important. This is a consequence.

If one of his children manifests later, he can deal with it. By then, the danger will be less. Right now, the fact that she has threatened and brandished means she must be out of the house. And where I am, it means she would not get unsupervised custody. In several states she would not get unsupervised custody. It depends on the state. LW needs to check with a lawyer.

I'm shocked that people with experience would minimize the danger of this behavior this way. You can not assume that whe won't hurt those kids. If she brandishes at one, she can brandish at another.

How can I assume he's better? Is he waving knives around? The standards for a fit parent are very low. She's violated them. He hasn't.

Anon Two, your mother didn't kill you. You can't assume the same thing here. And bluntly, you are lucky you didn't get killed by being thrown down the stairs. That is such a dangerous thing to do that I can't believe you are discounting this way.