Yes, I believe that you've hit on the exact cause of the problem. The problem derives from various media, including the Internet (as you stated), where women who fit certain standards of beauty, youth, firmness, and grooming are the norm. The Internet, as a broad category, overlaps with printed images and porn videos. Some (IMO, way too many) men have become so conditioned to the images and sex acts that they see in these media that they feel "cheated" if they have to "settle" for anything else. Please forgive me for being so frank (and downright "gross"), but it goes way beyond Brazilian waxes, m'dear! We gals are expected to have pretty, neat-looking little coochies, as well. --Which means plastic surgery on our labia if we don't conform to THAT "looks standard." It also means being a--as "my cousin Howie" likes to say--a "three input girl" and gladly receiving the sort of "facials" that one does not get in a beauty salon, if you get my meaning.

I also don't think that it makes me a "man hater" if I laugh in their self-centered faces when they express anger and disappointment that I don't aspire to be just like their favorite porn star in the bedroom. It only means that I've come to despise THAT sort of man.

More than anything, this piece speaks to the compromising of ones individuality and ones principles that are necessary for having a successful career in certain areas--particularly those careers that put one in the public eye.

One can become outraged, then radicalized, upon learning what one must do to become a success, rebel, fight the good fight...and remain a lifelong "starving artist" with, perhaps a small but intensely loyal, "cult" following. Or one can decide to be pragmatic, "hold ones nose" whilst doing things that are offensive to ones sense of self, in the hopes of achieving eventual success (perhaps even coaching/counselling others to compromise their principles, as well), knowing that, in the long run, success can buy oneself the very sort of power that affords one the ability to finally be true to oneself...and--who knows?--maybe even become a force for change in "the system."

It doesn't help matters, either, to observe the occasional male actor being accepted--even celebrated--as an eccentric while watching an endless array of actresses who don't fit the "starlet" mold being either reshaped into something unrecognizable or dumped altogether.

It's enough to drive any self-respecting woman crazy.

All of the above aside, though, it is an ugly little secret (one that we feminists are loathe to admit publicly) that women friends can be merciless to one another over any slight--whether that slight is perceived or actual. And once a typical woman feels slighted in this manner, she'll often call in favors among others, demanding that they chose sides ("If you want to work with/remain friendly with me, then she's out!"). Frankly, I've not observed males being that vengeful toward one another. (Maybe they fight it out, one on one, and then let it go?) I strongly suspect that "Jane" was deeply offended by some (perhaps small) thing that Nancy had done in the year and a half that they knew one another, and, once "Jane" had some influence in the acting field, Nancy's opportunities became even-more-severely limited than they had been by Nancy's not fitting the "starlet" mold.