Almost everyone posting here today is giving you the same advice. Option number 2 is, of course, your only option, assuming that you really want a happy and fulfilling life. I won't belabor that point as so many have already addressed it so well. What bothers me is how you describe yourself as a closet liberal. I'm sorry, it just jumped out at me and if you had called yourself a closet conservative I would have had the same reaction. You may want to ask yourself why you feel the need to hide your political beliefs. Is it because your fiancee is so vocal about his own convictions and you don't want to upset him. Do you feel that your beliefs are of lesser value than his? Does he mock you when you speak up with an opinion that differs from his own? Does he always seem to have a quote from Rush handy when you mention something even vaguely resembling a liberal point?

In any case, this is something you should think about, because you may not be able to leave this trait behind, even if you move. Suppose that someday you are living in Manhattan (NYC, not Kansas) and you meet the man of your dreams -- but there is just one problem -- his political views differ greatly from your own. In fact, politically he may be much the same as the guy you left behind in SmallTown USA. What will you do then? Are you going to go back into the closet, or are you going to deal with the larger issue of coping with someone who may have vastly different opinions and beliefs than you do.

Anyway, good luck to you !

Oh, I admit it brought back a lot of memories from my youth in rural Iowa. I too have sped down many a back road, but fortunately, like the king size Marlboros that I used to go through at the rate of a pack and a half a day, I grew up and decided enough was enough and gave up living my life with such reckless abandon. Now, at age 52 I can say I'm glad that I did.

Still, I enjoyed Susan's piece. I can relate to it all -- the hair, the music, the weed, the high speed boondocks driving. As a period piece it works well, and I would like to read her book. The only thing that bothers me is the fact that she still seems to take great joy in driving like a maniac (or maybe she just lives down here by me in South Florida where everyone drives like that, I don't know). In any case, I hope that she is just taking some literary license in embellishing the way she sometimes drives today. That's not something you want to pass on to your kids -- things are dangerous enough out there on the roads. Even back in Iowa, where the population of the entire county was probably less than the subdivision where I live today, we had tragic accidents and I can name several kids who were killed in senseless car wrecks.

So my advice -- slow down Susan, you are a very talented writer and we would like to see more of your work. I'll bet that your brother would say the same thing.

Frankly, if you are seeking to have your feelings about gun ownership validated by an internet advice columnist (no disrespect to Cary intended), you should probably wait awhile before purchasing any firearms.

I am not a gun owner myself, however, I am not necessarily against people owning them. People have a variety of reasons for wanting and even needing guns so who am I to say they shouldn't have them. But you on the other hand, have some other issues coming into play. For that reason, I would suggest that you put a couple of years between your first gun and your 21st birthday. You may look at things in an entirely different light a few years from now.

I think that in spite of what a therapist might tell you, we sometimes are too old for certain things. Launching an indie music career from the ground floor at your age sounds to me like one of them. If it were another type of creative endeavor, for example if you wanted to write a novel, age would not really be a factor. I'd say go for it. But the music industry has always been a tough business to break into and it's very image conscious -- but then you already know that. I think you're bored with the corporate world and you want to break out. I can relate to that. I have worked in corporate America for the past 27 years and sometimes I wish I were playing in a band too (unlikely as I have no musical talent whatsoever). Still, just remember, in another ten years you will be 55 and suddenly old age is going to seem a lot closer than it is today. You think you're trapped in a cubicle now at 45 -- wait until you're 65 and you suddenly discover that you've dropped most of your extra dinero into a failed music career.

Take Cary's advice. Maybe you would turn out to be a great soldier, maybe not. Right now your military career doesn't look too promising. If it were peacetime, maybe you should go ahead and give it a whirl but it's pretty nasty out there right now and we wouldn't want the smartest person you know getting blown to bits in Iraq for the sake of GWB's war. Cary, and many other posters here, seem to think you can get out, no problem, so do it and don't look back. My advice is to get some more education, forget the drugs, and don't sign anything more until after your 25th birthday.

Good luck.