Letters to the Editor
Camel
Published Letters: 130 Editor's Choice: 20
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Here's an idea...
[Read the article: Should I move -- with my kids -- to be with the man of my dreams?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]How about talking to everyone about this situation? Ask the kids how they would feel about moving. Ask the man where this is going, if he's ready for concrete move-in and/or get married plans, where he sees this going. Bring this down to earth and out of your head, and you may find many more answers and solutions there.
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Anti-male sitcoms?
[Read the article: How can I improve relations between the sexes?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Huh? I can't think of any examples of anti-male sitcoms. To me, the most offensive thing about them seems to be their message that a man can be fat, ugly, rude, crass and dumb, but an impossibly beautiful (and thin!), smart woman will still love him and want to marry him.
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Relations between the sexes?
[Read the article: How can I improve relations between the sexes?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'm pretty sure the problem is not the relations between men and women but rather the relations between the letter writer and women.
Here are some things you can do:
1. Look at women as individuals instead of as a group. Surprise surprise, women are people. There's more variety among women than there is between women and men.
2. Look at who you surround yourself with. Yes, there are some women who are just angry, anti-men, and inexplicably proud of being a bitch. They are hostile, and think that bluntly telling people rude and cruel things is "honesty" and should be praised. Avoid these women. It's as simple as that. They have their male counterparts too, and as a woman, I have learned to avoid both groups.
3. Be the change you wish to see. Your female friends are angry and upset? Well, find out why, and then see if there's anything you can do to change it. Maybe you can help them understand the man's point of view. Maybe you can help campaign for, say, better insurance coverage for contraceptives. Or maybe she's just pissed that an ex-boyfriend cheated on her. In that case, maybe you can set a good example by being a faithful and thoughtful boyfriend. Maybe that's not enough, and she's just going to be angry no matter what. In that case, leave it alone.
4. Diversify your social circle. If you're only hanging out with women's studies grad students and read only the most liberal publications, well, it's not a big surprise that you're going to at some point encounter some angry feminists. Why not try expanding your viewpoint and hanging out with people from different backgrounds? Maybe even, gasp, some conservative women (they're not all Ann Coulter).
5. Not all women are angry, not all women are anti-men. In fact, I would say only a minority actually are. If you find yourself constantly dating these women, well - the common denominator is you!
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Brightstar
[Read the article: How can I improve relations between the sexes?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]"What else is new? but you know what? Try as I might, I will one day lose most of that weight, diffucult as it will be. I will then get a girlfriend. Then when she gains weight, I will drop her like a BOMB."
Wow, that sounds like a really great plan for happiness! What could possibly be more fulfilling and satisfying in life than having a relationship based solely on your idea of dumping her eventually because of her weight? You'll definitely stick it to all women then by hurting someone who cares about you!
Let me ask you this - are you willing to date women who are 30 pounds overweight? Will you look beneath the surface at less-attractive women? Or do you only expect that out of women? Are you one of those guys who looks like a slob yet expects a supermodel to fall in love with him based entirely on what a great person he is, yet completely ignores women who aren't a size 4?
Guess what - guys don't really get dumped for being 'nice'. If she tells you that, she's lying to spare your feelings. In reality, you're either boring, annoying, bad in bed, or actually kind of a jerk who only thinks he's nice.
One more bit of advice: if you act like a shallow jerk, you're going to attract women who like shallow jerks, and who most likely are themselves as well. Good luck with that!
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Who's perfect?
[Read the article: How can I improve relations between the sexes?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]"Yeah, I am imperfect. At 40, I have given up on meeting a good woman because all women want is a perfect man or someone who portrays a facsimile of one, at least in the early stages of the relationship."
Well, everyone is imperfect. Even those men who are happily married. Those millions of men out there who have managed to find someone - the fat ones, the skinny ones, the smart ones, the dumb ones, the ones who have Star Trek-themed weddings. How did they do it?
There are women who want perfection and there are men who want perfection. Guess what - none of them are going to be satisfied, ever. It's hardly exclusive to one gender.
"I have developed esteem issues from a liftime of being told I am not good enough because I have a penis."
Who, exactly, told you this?
"but men have become ice cream, as Dowd said, in other words another lifestyle 'option', like AC in a car, but basically USELESS."
If this is true, why, for example, are there thousands and thousands of magazine covers dedicated to "Find a Man in 10 Days!" and "45 Ways to Please Your Man!"? "The Rules"?
"I have not been married yet, but I see no point in trying now since 90% of American marriage eventually ends in divorce or endless soul killing misery."
Wow, with an attitude like that, I am shocked that you haven't happily settled down with someone. What could be more attractive than pessimism and bitterness?
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it's too bad
[Read the article: How can I improve relations between the sexes?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]'star makes me sad. He's obviously convinced himself that he's going to be miserable and bitter forever and all he's done is create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Insist that all women are shallow and cruel, then surround yourself with shallow and cruel women, and voila. You get to be right. Congratulations.
It's a very sad, narrow world you are living in there, sir.