I voted for Nader. I hope the next time I turn the key in the ignition an airbag by the name of Garrison Keillor will blow up.

"That is pretty much an exact analogy...?" Come, now. This is the kind of writing I'd expect from the Weekly Standard. It's either exact or it's not. This is an oxymoron at worst or an equivocation at best.

Omar Vizquel? Are you talking about the same crybaby who had an onfield meltdown over Arthur Rhodes diamond earring? Oh, yeah! Temper tantrums by overpaid athletes are sexy. Puh-leez!

It will never happen. Why would presidential candidates subject themselves to a debate that would show how ignorant they all are?

Maybe Irving and the Flying Spaghetti Monster could battle it out for supremacy. We could call it Crassover.

Iconic? Well, that certainly illustrates what's wrong with journalism today. We make icons of pandering, sensationalistic celebrity ass-kissers who couldn't write a news story if their jobs depended on it. Which they don't.

Television journalism has been an oxymoron for so long that it no longer qualifies as something to be outraged about.

Baba Wawa has the ultimate distinction of having led the way down the slippery slope from news to infotainment. She and Oprah are equals, but please don't confuse that with journalism.

Why can't the networks put forth competent female journalists instead of giving us glorified gossip columnists like Barbara and Katie Couric? It's not like they don't exist. Give us Leslie Stahl, Linda Ellerbee, Rehema Ellis.

Are the networks trying to commit journalistic suicide? It's hard to believe anything else given the idiotic decisions they make. But, then, it's corporate beancounters that make the decisions and that's reflected in what goes out on the airwaves.

Personally, I haven't had a TV for years. That's something of a statement for one who made his living at TV journalism back in the 1970s. I'm glad to be doing solid journalism for a local weekly and keep hoping that the old-fashioned journalistic values will make a comeback.

Yup, I'm hopelessly out of date. But I'm younger than Barbara Walters and would be happy if her brand of false journalism rides off into the sunset with her. Unfortunately, her influence is so pervasive that I have little hope that real journalism will return.

I do what I can on a local level and try not to think about the damage that Walters and her ilk have done to a once honorable profession.

As the creator of Popz' Primo Potato Salad, I think I have some authority in this matter. Ahem. Sweet relish in potato salad? You should be waterboarded. Dill, dill, dill!

As far as torture is concerned, Mr. Keillor must be regarded as an expert, having subjected us to his poetry and singing for lo, these many years. Fortunately, most of have a choice and quit subjecting ourselves to his enhanced interrogation techniques years ago.