Cary missed half the issue. There's a difference between an introvert and someone who can't read social signals. Even if you embrace your inner introvert as Cary suggested, to form relationships you need to learn to read social signals. Otherwise, you end up with more situations like your story about completely misunderstanding the guy who invited you over to watch a movie. You also need to learn how to send the right social signals, otherwise you'll never attract anyone, even (or perhaps, especially) another introvert.

Unfortunately, I don't have any easy solutions for you -- I'm still working on this as I approach 50. But I think if I'd been more proactive, as you're being now, I might have licked the problem before the gap between my actual social skills and my expected socials skills (as a mature adult woman) became so awkward.

Our culture takes pride in the demise of formal etiquette, but etiquette actually served as a set of agreed-upon social signals. Certain phrases and behaviors had accepted significance, and no one had to try to figure out what to say to convey a specific message and what to say in response. But even though etiquette isn't taught any more, some of the "language" of etiquette is still in use. So my first suggestion is: read some etiquette books dealing with both social and business etiquette. Study social signals like a foreign language. At the very least, you'll learn some stock phrases and responses that you know will be "right" in certain everyday interactions, which will help you feel more comfortable and confident when meeting people, going for a job interview, etc. There are good articles out there that will give you strategies for flirting (showing interest in someone, not necessarily romantically) and dating (ten things to say on a date, etc.). And listen. Listening is good. Listening will give you clues about what to say and how to say it, and everyone likes a good listener.

The other advice is: ask your more socially ept friends to help. Ask them to observe you in social situations. Did you miss signals (he was totally into you, couldn't you tell?) or send the wrong signals (turn away from someone, not look them in the eye, talk without listening, steer the conversation toward subjects that are impersonal or distancing, etc.).

Finally, practice. Practice, practice, practice until this behavior that's going to seem unnatural at first becomes second nature. Put yourself in social situations as homework -- do it because you have to, not because you want to. You won't become less of an introvert (although you might find you enjoy socializing more if you're better at it), but at least you'll be alone by choice and not because you can't figure out how to connect with the people you *do* choose to connect with.

Good luck!

This subject brought back fond memories of listening to Dave Stewart's no-hitter on the radio. I had gotten into the car and flipped on the game, and at the end of the inning, the late, great Bill King said "Stewart walked the first two batters and has retired (I don't remember how many, it was in the teens by that point) in a row since then." Cool, I thought. Bill is telling me Stewart is pitching a no-hitter without actually saying it, thus respecting the tradition. A little while later, Steve McCatty (a former A's pitcher who occasionally filled in doing color), blithely started talking about Stewart's no-hitter. I could almost *hear* King glaring at him.

IIRC, the current A's broadcast team has no compunction about talking about no-hitter in progress (and when Rich Harden is healthy that situation comes up fairly frequently).

The first time I did Southwest coast-to-coast I was dreading it, having had a very uncomfortable cross-country flight on a Continental 737 not long before that. But the Southwest 737 was newer, cleaner and more comfortable. As people have said, the flight attendants are friendly and will actually talk to you (one gave me tips on choosing a seat, and also told me they put their best planes on their longest routes).

I've never lost a bag or had a serious delay. The one time I did have a delay I made my connection just as they were closing the door, and I was resigned to my checked bag not making it. Imagine my pleased surprise when it made it through as well.

In other words, what they do, they do very, very well. I appreciate that.

Pacificwhim, when I think of Pollack I always think of just that very scene, with him beaming at Hoffman. At that moment to him Dorothy Michaels is a real person who might have a real response to a real proposal, and he becomes all of the people in the audience who get caught up in a work of fiction and begin to believe that the characters are real, and who have real feelings about them. I always say that Pollack stole all the best scenes and best lines in "Tootsie" for himself.

So he wasn't an artiste or an auteur. He made movies that were entertaining and endearing and substantial enough that people still remember their iconic moments long after most "meaningful" films are relegated to showings to film students.