I went through something similar so I know a little bit about how you feel. I was on the other side of the country when my mom died a little over a year ago. Although I had visited her a couple months previously, she hadn't shown signs of being that close to the end of her life. When the doctors told me she was real close to the end I hesitated rather than immediately unhook myself from my life in order to be there. I made plane reservations, but she died before I got there, so I was at the funeral rather than her deathbed. I have beaten myself up many times for hesitating and not grabbing an earlier plane. But you know what? We don't know exactly when it's going to happen. We can torture ourselves in retrospect but that doesn't change anything. We do what we can do. We are not perfect. Life is not made of perfect moments. It's painful whether you are there or whether you are not there and you can be with her in spirit whether you are with her physically or even whether she is alive or not.

After the funeral, after returning home I spoke to a friend about the experience who happens to be a therapist and who happened to also have lost her mother recently. She said, "There are always regrets with death." I thought yes, there probably are. We probably always wish we had done something different.

It is very easy to get caught up in the drama of imagining how we could have done the right thing at just right, perfect moment. But life is what it is. And life always has its complications. As does death.

My advice: do what you can do. Don't torture yourself about how it should have, could have been. In many ways, death is a private, solo experience. You can always connect with her in your heart and in your memories, which are eternal.

What a sweet story! I have friends of different ages, some 20 years younger some 20 years older and there are times when the friendships can feel both amazing and unlikely, as in who woulda thunk? Particularly with a person of opposite gender it feels almost taboo even while being quite innocent.

Thus I found this article most delightful. In a culture like ours which is quite ageist, this is really refreshing and joyful.

Thank you!

Many people here are focusing on the lease and what your legal options are, which is certainly one way to look at this situation. What is glaringly clear to me is the betrayal and the way you allowed this to happen. How did this situation sneak up on you? How close were you to these "friends"? Did you never talk about the future? How did you see this unfolding? What were you secretly hoping? What is the reward you expected or hoped for by the sacrifices you were making?

I ask these questions because I am a "pleaser", too, and a big chunk of my own personal growth has been to stand up for myself. I realize that you have this same tendency and it's very unhealthy. As you can see, you can lose much of yourself.

This is not so much about losing the apartment as it is about losing yourself, losing your self esteem and learning to value your self-worth. This is an opportunity. If you don't stand up for yourself now, then some other situation will arise. You will find yourself again giving too much and there are even worse things you could lose than an apartment.

So I ask you to consider this as a strength building opportunity. You know that what these two are doing is wrong and that they have horribly taken advantage of you. If the law is on your side and you can kick them out, it may feel like crap at first, but you will end up with your dignity. This is about more than retaining your apartment. It's about keeping hold of your soul.

You don't say how long you've been dating this man. On the first few dates you're just getting to know each other and I think it's natural to go slowly and feel your way about how much you each want to reveal about yourselves. But as time goes on and you desire to know each other better, it's appropriate to share more. And if this is someone whom you think you want to share a big chunk of your life, eventually you should share everything. Your past experiences shape who you are today. It's an important part of you.

It's incredibly wonderful to be with someone with whom you can be totally open and to feel accepted, understood and loved for exactly who you are. Settle for nothing less.

Just be aware that there's a right time for everything.