Letters to the Editor

• Dare to Be a Responsible Parent

  [Read the article: Mom's a pothead]
  [Read more letters about this article: Here]

  I'm not a fan of DARE, and I agree it can go overboard. That's why children need their PARENTS to put illicit and licit drug use into perspective. This can't be done by a parent who's flaunting the law and putting her own infantile/addictive needs ahead of her son's welfare.

  My 20-yr-old son knows that I smoked grass waaaayyyy in the past (haven't in decades), and also understands that times were different then--laws weren't so draconian, the stuff you got wasn't usually dangerous--it was a somewhat different scene. My son's well on his way to becoming a journalist, and understands that there's NOTHING like that (drugs, alcohol) that's worth risking his budding career for. He's savvy enough to get that any missteps on his part will wreck what he's striving for and has accomplished to date.

  My 15-yr-old had an inadvertent introduction to grass (sorta did a Bill Clinton) when he was 12. He understands that he got into a whole lotta trouble (long story, things are okay now), and seems to have learned his lesson. He also understands that his future isn't worth risking.

  I don't use illicit drugs, and hardly drink at all (i.e., never at home; an occasional glass of wine with dinner out, when I'm not driving). I don't have to lecture them, because they observe my own behavior and know how prudent I am about these things. We do talk about them occasionally, nonetheless.

  To the poster who said that a 15-yr-and-older son doesn't need his mother: Are you totally ignorant?! Sons need their mother at any age, as she's the primary example of how they'll treat women in the future. If a mother demands respect while showering love and affection, and models work habits and personal behavior, that's what they'll expect from and admire in the girls and women with whom they have relationships.

  In this case, it's really up to the FATHER to put his cojones to use and get directly involved to demand that the mother either cease and desist and/or get addiction treatment (yes, I know, not all potheads are addicts). He should put his foot down so that she gets her act together--only then can they have an open and honest discussion with their son about drug use, why people do it, why it's potentially very stupid and ruinous, and the effects of different drugs.

  Kids absorb parents' behavior. Yes, the kids can be a pain, and even judgmental, but it's up to the parents to guide their children's judgments and act in a way that doesn't jeopardize the family via felony convictions, impaired intellect, selfish and self-absorbed narcissistic behavior, and the like.

  It's called being a responsible parent. Both mother and father here have the son's well-being and future at stake. Yes, it really is a choice between the pot and her son.

  She'd better grow up fast and comprehend the potential outcomes and consequences. Her Deadhead days should be over--she can have some fun by just wearing the t-shirts.

  Permalink Sunday, July 8, 2007 08:33 PM