My sister had horrible daily headaches, that would last for weeks and months at a time. We never called them migraines but perhaps they were. I don't know how many medications she had tried, but I remember very well the one she tried in high school that caused seizures. She had lived most of her life on the east coast, mostly Virginia. Then her husband got a job in southern Arizona. The marriage didn't last, but I doubt she'll ever leave Arizona. With rare exceptions she no longer has headaches. If you're not there already, try spending a couple of weeks in the deserts of the southwest. If it helps, move.

I second what everyone else says about not putting too much faith in a single doctor.

My only other little bit of headache wisdom likely does not pertain to you. Many people with headaches overlook the miracle drug that is Exedrin. I have spoken with healthcare professionals who have taken all sorts of prescription medications for headaches without result, were all but unaware of Exedrin, and were stunned when it worked. It is nothing more than a cocktail of aspirin, tylenol and caffeine. Unfortunately, healthcare providers can be oblivious to anything that isn't brand new, requiring a prescription and on big pharma's advertising agenda. Anyone who has not tried Exedrin (or an off-brand equivolent) for a headache, should try it. With caffeine there is always the possibility of a rebound headache, but it is a possibility, not a certainty, and the rebound headache, if it comes, may not be as bad as the one the medecine chased away.

Your reliance on your parents is crippling you. And you know that. And your solution is to become yet more reliant on your parents. Perhaps instead of a new country you need a new model for dealing with your family. You are 27. You should be taking care of yourself, not being cajoled by parents and sister to do this or that. The best I can tell you have tried only one job that completely didn't work out. So you know you're not headed for a career in accounting. What about installing tile floors? Or water features? Cabinetry? Unique handrailings? Thought about becoming a certified kitchen designer? Bath? Working in a library--of an art or architecture school? Start your own business making well designed non-generic wedding invitations? Photograph weddings? Learn to reupholster furniture?

(1) Find a good home for your dog. You need to be working way too many hours to take proper care of a pet. Don't get another pet until you are in a 40ish hr/week job you are ready to do for at least 5 years.

(2) Start working 50-60 hours a week--preferably dividing your time between 2 jobs that are quite different. Any jobs you can get except waiting tables--and at least one should be physical work. Things it never occurred to you to want to do. Try a temp agency. Do construction. Work in a print shop. Learn everything there is to know about every job you do. Be the best employee they've ever seen. Commit (at least in your own mind) to a minimum of 2 years at these jobs.

(3) Share a cheap apartment with a non-family member. Live on a shoe string.

(4) Stay way too busy to notice whether you're in Pittsburg or Perth. Way too busy to spend money. Way too busy to speak to your parents more than once a month. So busy that when you fall into bed at night you're exhausted and it takes you less than a minute to fall asleep. Start living by a planner that is full of engagements from morning to night. Think of something you want to try? Schedule it.

Don't go to school because your mom has to talk you into it. If you are a creative person, you will be be hard pressed to find a job that doesn't give you an outlet for that creativity and an opportunity to advance. Start out digging pools; end up a landscape architect with your own business specializing in unique swimmable water features. You get the idea.

I'm not sure what Cary expects who to say to this man when he says to tell him the "whole situation", but don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. You are a professional. This is a professional relationship. Make sure it stays that way. If you say anything, 2 options: he takes it badly and life/work is hell, he takes it well and you like him better than ever. Neither scenario is an improvement over the status quo.

I reread your letter a few times and it is obvious that you know what to do. You create a life for yourself outside of work, look for other employment and perhaps a new setting. You wrote to Cary not because you don't know what to do, but because you know its going to hurt like hell to do it. Just get started. It's a project. Do a good job. Reconnect with every girlfriend, every family member, every neighbor, you've let slide. It will take a lot of conversations with a lot of different people to fill this void, but you can fill it in time.

And re-read Jane Eyre, fairy tale that it is.