How old are you? You do not say. Which is absolutely maddening given that that, and only that, determines whether the big dip is a problem. The best advice for dealing with 401K losses is simply not to look. The damage is done. There not much to be done now. Just keep plowing money into the account and make sure you are in a variety of index funds so that your progress, at minimum, tracks that of the market as a whole, which always, always goes up over time.

So, when the stock market rallies and in twelve years your stocks are worth more than your husband's CDs are you going to lord it over him? Lecture him on his bad choices? Please.

If you plan for this money to support you both, you might try planning together a diversified portfolio that includes several basic types of investment: bond funds, index funds, T-bills, and possibly real estate. Skip the CDs except for money you want to have available to spend in the relatively short term. No long term CDs. And don't buy individual stocks unless you are willing to spend a lot more time studying investments than most people want to. Likewise don't get any managed mutual funds that have lots of fees and seldom beat the market.

My own sister has an "autistic spectrum" child (presently 8)AND has been known to take it badly when even the gentlest suggestions were made about her parenting. So I know where you're coming from.

I agree with others who suggest that Susan is already thinking about the autism diagnosis and that that is what makes her bring it up. The cool thing is that the behavioral therapy he needs is the least "Western" of all our therapies. No medication is usually necessary. Just personal interaction and rewards. Read up on it. Google "behavioral therapy autism." Perhaps it works on "extreme shyness" too.

The first intervention for my nephew was actually with a speech therapist due to speech delay. Speech therapists are great and personable and should recognize a child who needs to be seen by someone about autism type symptoms. Another possible resource is a parent of another autistic spectrum child. Perhaps one that also has a "normal" child the age of your boys.

In the mean time, keep the lines of communication open. Every time that Susan mentions her son seeing a doctor or therapist, or that she's thinking about autism, tell her what a great mom she is, and say something really positive about Sam. Limit your praise to when she discusses these topics (at first, even if her comments are negative--at least she's on the right topic). If she takes the next step--like accepting the name and number of a care provider--buy her coffee. If she calls for an appointment--over the top praise, a hallmark card, tell her you know what a difficult decision it was. He sees a speech therapist? Flowers or some other supportive gesture. You get the idea. But be patient. This could take a couple of years.

Don't think one blunt conversation is going to have an effect here. At best you don't know--you've only known her a matter of months. And I doubt you can say much that others haven't already said. The less isolated Sam's mom is, the better off Sam will be. The chances are she is very afraid of what a doctor would tell her right now--even if she won't admit it.

Randy G. thinks people need to stop pussyfootin' around and speak firmly and seriously to this mom. Fine. It will be your last conversation and it will be short. Perhaps the reason that Susan has so much time to spend with someone she has only known six months is because her last set of friends tried this. I empathize with Randy. I like directness. I have also seen it backfire--even when it was as gentle as silk and from life long friends. Do not assume that Susan is fully sane and rational.

Episcomom: Ouch! Talk about direct. You're right, Cary may set records for talking about himself in an advice column. It is a bit odd, and for eons I didn't read the column pretty much because of that. But he's done a great job of picking letters of interest, making me want to click, and getting a conversation started. The author who said she reads this for the comments not for Cary's response is onto something. That said, Cary needs to stick around. Nothing says that all advice columnists have to be just alike. So Cary is quirky. Aren't we all. I don't even mind the occasional unedited entry--so long as Cary doesn't mind the blowback from it.

And Allie_: You liked my advice to LW and said so. I feel affirmed. Thanks.

Just leave. Go find someone who is single and has been for a while. Don't look back. He's married. And has been the entire time you've known him. And may be for the indefinite future. Be glad you've just lost 7 months. Extricate yourself from this cliche. This is not how you begin a great relationship.

You deserve better. I know its painful. It always is. You've been seeing things as you wanted them to be and not as they are. I hope this is a first time thing for you. If so, how did it happen? Why were you so eager to overlook the bad side of this relationship? You're job is to figure out why you let yourself get into this situation. And not to do it again.

Marriage is difficult enough in the best of times. A relationship that starts like this is almost certainly doomed.