All you mean people who always write in bashing Cary should get your own advice columns, or stop reading. There are lots of more straight-forward advice columns out there, go read those. Why just come on here and hate?

Do you miss Ann Landers so very much? Ah, those were the days. Everything boiled down to "MYOB" or go join AA. Simple advice for simple minded little people.

Incidentally, I agree with Cary here. She should participate, keep up appearances and references, and work hard on getting the hell out of that job. All offices and jobs have difficult people, but her situation sounds especially bad. She can do better.

As I read this, I was thinking of the extremely heated discussion on here a week or so ago about "helpless husbands" who don't seem to care about housework. Apparently we're programming the next generation to have this same problem.

I agree that both toys look fun, but why not show both genders playing with them? Boys like playing house and girls like playing trucks. I remember this well from my own childhood and I'm sure it's just as true now.

First of all, to all the writers who are saying things to the effect of "If this is your only problem you should drop to your knees and thank the heavens, you lucky bitch," I would like to say Lighten the Fuck Up. Geez. I'm sure the LW has plenty of other problems, but s/he probably thought this was something Carey could help with whereas the others are too big, personal, etc.

I get these emails all the time, like most everyone does, most often from my mother. A few years ago, I got sick of it and sent her the snopes breakdown of the myth in question, and told her what a fun and interesting site snopes is, and that I hoped she enjoyed it as much as I do. So now what she does is forwards me the crap emails and says something like "maybe this isn't true, but it seems realistic. Maybe you could look it up on snopes." Argh!

And politics. I get occasional emails from people who are on my end of the political spectrum. Sometimes I agree with them and/or find them amusing/interesting. Mostly I find them to be patent propaganda. But the ones I get from my family members, who are on the other end of the political spectrum, are especially nauseating. I never forward even the most interesting ones from "my side" to them because I don't want to offend them. So why do they keep forwarding theirs to me? And any time I try to argue with the contents of these political ones, I end up in a huge, painful email debate with someone who I otherwise love who gets me totally hostile by defending the bullshit with lots more bullshit. I've learned to stop arguing, even politely.

I think Carey's right. S/he should leave that job. I would be pretty unhappy if I was getting those from my boss. Fortunately that sort of thing doesn't happen at my workplace. Occasionally someone sends around a cartoon about our particular industry and it's cute. That's the extent of it.

Haven't had time to read all the many letters about this, but in case no one else has brought this up, let's talk about the paperwork and hassle of changing your name. Your social security card, passport, driver's license, etc, will all have to be changed. You'll have to fill out lots of paperwork and present lots of official documentation in order to do so, including your original birth certificate or certified copy, which you'll have to dredge up, and your marriage license.

If you are later divorced or widowed and remarried, you'll have to all this again. At that time you'll have to produce for all these officials your original birth cert again, your first marriage license (again), your divorce decree, and your next marriage license.

Keep your name so you don't have to go through all this. Trust me. If I had known, I would have.

Happy New Year and thanks for another excellent article. It was fun.

But in this case, it's true. I know, you have bigger problems, but this is something small enough to write an advice columnist about. But I think this is small enough to just let go.

Sad that he's too rude to go the bathroom, but if he's otherwise an ok guy, you're lucky. I would rather sit by a farter than a malicious jerk. At least he's not plotting against you to make himself look better for some upcoming promotion. Or something. But I'm overly nice. Maybe you say something. Good luck.