Letters to the Editor
imogen_june
Published Letters: 88 Editor's Choice: 10
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Long Dark Night of the Lonesome Exchange Student
[Read the article: I'm wasting my semester abroad watching TV in my apartment]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I spent an academic year in England when I was a junior in college, and my version of hiding in front of the TV was spending too much time holed up in my room with my books. I wanted to connect with people, but after the initial rush of planned events and gatherings, our program kind of left us on our own. The academic structure was incredibly loose, too - one-on-one tutorials with professors just a few times a week, and otherwise all independent study - and this didn't help matters. Most of the English students didn't seem too interested in making friends with us transient Americans, since we'd be moving along soon enough, and I thought I was above hanging out with the pack of other American exchange students. I felt very isolated, very lonely.
I did try to get out and sight-see on my own, and while I still felt kind of depressed and lost doing these things at the time, when I look back, they are nice memories. When I visited other parts of the country, away from my snobby university town, I was shocked by how much friendlier the locals were, and how much more interested they were in meeting an American. And yes, the advice others have given to stay at hostels is excellent. There are usually other solo travelers there, looking for someone to hang out with for the evening, or groups that will gladly take you in for a day of sightseeing or a night at the cafe. You might also find the opportunity for a sweet, fleeting European romance there, too. I remember the time I went to a coastal town in Ireland for St. Patrick's Day ... mmmm ...
Although at the time it felt like "the locals" wanted nothing to do with me, in retrospect I realize that wasn't true. I had my sights set on the "cool" kids, who would barely give me the time of day, but there were plenty of nerdy, less-dazzling students who were thrilled to talk to me when I gave them a chance, and I'm sure would have been happy to befriend me. I wish I had been more open to them.
Also, winter in England was a miserable time. It was damp and gray and everyone was grumpy, and it was more difficult to run into people by chance. Once spring came, everything changed. The flowers came up, the sun came out, and people started smiling at me for no reason. Students started hanging out at the open-air pubs, and anyone who wanted to could come along. I also finally got wise and started spending more time at the college pub and hanging out in the student center. Sometimes that meant I was just sitting alone there feeling foolish, but it also meant I would run into people, and they would invite me to join in their plans.
Just try to get out of your room, and put yourself physically where other people will find you. Go do some interesting things, even if you don't feel like it, so you'll have something to remember when this is over. Don't worry too much about making friends with the "right" people - be grateful for anyone who will have you! Feel reassured that the exchange student experience is often difficult, and you're not a social pariah for having a hard time with it. As hard as it is at the time, you'll be surprised when it's over how many fond memories you have of it.
And even if all you do for the rest of the semester is sit in your apartment watching TV ... hey, some of my best memories of Europe are of watching the wacky TV shows there! That's local culture, too.
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They're All Attractive Enough
[Read the article: Women ARE funny. And foxy!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]And of course their wit and personality is what truly makes their appeal, but to my eye, the common thread between them is that they're all celebrity-skinny. They also have the benefit of professional styling.
Also, as attractive as gals like Silverman, Fey, and Poehler are, they all still have something a little off about their faces - Fey's scar, Silverman's flaring nostrils, Poehler's evil little smirk. I think it would be hard for a conventionally, blankly pretty woman (or unquirkily handsome guy, for that matter) to really hit it big as a comedian.
As for men who say women aren't funny, my opinion is that those are the guys who see humor as yet another arena in which to prove their prowess. If women can do it as well as they can, they can't use humor to define themselves as separate, different, and of course better than the women. What would that say about their awesome maleness?
Christopher Hitchens' statement that women aren't funny? Not particularly funny. You're not convincing me of anything, buddy.
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Cleaning Tips Just Like Mom Used to Make
[Read the article: I'm living in filth!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Stop worrying about not knowing how to clean stuff, and get a cleaning and housekeeping handbook for your reference shelf. I am partial to "Home Comforts," by Cheryl Mendelson. Some of her advice can be a little extreme, but just take it with a grain of salt. It'll tell you how to tackle everything from clutter to stains, and is so lovingly written, it will make you WANT to clean your house. Imagine that!
Now available in inexpensive paperback ...
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More on Mrs. Short Husband
[Read the article: The strange case of midnight renegade oleander gentrification camouflage]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]It's also worth mentioning that Cary's response was particularly atypical and (to me) quite funny, telling the writer that her husband was indeed at fault for refusing to grow a few measly inches for her, and suggesting that she chain him to the treadmill in their bedroom to take care of the pot-belly problem.
There was also something about divorcing him and taking the house, because he was probably too short to appreciate it anyway.
I hope I'm not violating anyone's rights by paraphrasing the response to this unauthorized letter. If so, my apologies, Mrs. Short Husband!