I learned about gossip the hard way. I wanted to be liked, and better yet, to be entertaining. I also liked knowing secrets and feeling "important" by disclosing them. Basically gossip came out of too much insecurity, and too little principle. Many times I have wished I had a big brother or strong father figure to spell out some basic principles ala Ward Cleaver or Mike Brady. Instead I got to make a lot of dumb mistakes first-hand and embarrass myself in the process.

Gossip hurts people. Even innocent gossip can push an already unhappy person over the edge. It's a bad feeling to think that other people are speaking of you judgmentally, or mockingly. If you're already an alienated person, then getting a sense of being the subject of negative gossip will confirm all the worst parts of your alienation.

It took me a long time to realize that I didn't have to disclose my personal life to people who asked. If somebody asks about something sensitive, you can simply say, "I'd rather not discuss that" and nobody has a right to ask for more. This is a simple lesson....yet somebody actually had to TELL me this for me to realize it.

One negative impact of gossip is that it puts people in a position where they are then compelled to lie. For example, let's say your friend Lucretia has had a miscarriage and confided in you about it. Let's also say that you break confidence and tell your friend Cassandra about it. One day, Lucretia decides to confide in Cassandra about her miscarriage. Now Cassandra is obligated to pretend to be surprised and shocked. If Lucretia is suspicious and asks if you told Cassandra, Cassandra will have to lie to cover your ass. She might be a lousy liar. Eitehr way your weakness in telling her leads to an additional demoralizing situation in which she has to debase the integrity of her own words.....or snitch on you.

I've also found that people gossip as a way to manipulate others' opinions to suit their own biases. By gossip I mean lie, though sometimes somebody can use a small truth to create a bigger, false impression. A friend of mine in junior high school was competing with me for the attentions of a young woman. He told her all sorts of things about me that were exaggerated in order to make her like me less. I had to find out about it from a third party, and then confront people as to what was going on. It felt weird -- I couldn't believe my friend was selling me out for some girl. It was decades ago, but even now I look back and think, wow, what a snake he was.

I don't see any point in gossiping. When I think of gossip I think of Cindy Brady in the episode of "Brady Bunch" where she sees Bobby Brady have his first kiss (complete with fireworks). She runs around the Brady house saying, "I've got a secret, I've got a secret!" She's so proud of herself for having sensitive information. Information is power, and the little pipsqueak is thrilled to finally have power after feeling so powerless for so long (no doubt in part due to a chronic lisping problem).

I also think of the saying, "If you're bored, you're boring." People who are bored turn to gossip to spice up their paltry existence. It's the wrong answer. If your existence feels paltry, make it un-paltry. Like Willie Wonka sings, "There is no place I know that compares with your imagination."

The only reason I bring up the Brady Bunch and Willie Wonka in the same message is because Bobby Brady's 1973 final-season haircut and shortness reminds me of an Oompa-Loompa.

Really, you can learn a lot about life from watching the Brady Bunch. Here's another gossip problem -- do you remember when Jan and Marcia were eavesdropping on Alice's conversations and they thought that Alice was planning to get married to Sam the Butcher? That caused all sorts of problems because they gossipped and assumed too much.

Also, in "Three's Company," remember when Mr. Furley eavesdropped on Chrissy talking about getting her wart removed, but he thought she was planning to have an abortion?

See what can go wrong when you gossip?

Let's not forget all the misunderstandings that arise, like when Elizabeth assumed the wrong things about Mr. Darcy because of what's-his-face who was sleeping with her foolish sister. That was jacked up, yo.

So in conclusion, don't gossip because if you do, you are a bastard.

....I heard a rumor the U.S. is going to attack Iran soon.

(just gossiping)