It's a rather dry comic, isn't it? As a long-time fan of "Heavy Metal" magazine and the "Love & Rockets" comic, I was rather hoping she would come out in a bikini or possibly fig leaf. Oh well, a burquini it is.....and how offensive! I mean, oh my god! Actually not offensive. Just rather dry and wry. To those who are complaining the cartoon is not very funny, have you read the other comics in the newspapers these days? "Not funny," "not funny," "not funny," and "not funny." Somebody should just title their comic "Not Funny" and cut to the chase. So Berk is doing OK, if not super-great.

The comic simultaneously reflects on Muslim standards and American standards, though it doesn't really say anything. You are free to interject your own interpretations. To me, Muslim women's clothing reminds me of Western women's clothing about 130 years ago -- not that I was around then. But I saw some pictures. Remember when women wore "hoop skirts" that might fly upward at any moment, revealing the multiple folds of their ankle-length knickers? Remember the oh-so-risque bathing suits for women in the 1920s, which would actually (gasp!) show their knees and a thin sliver of their mid-riff? HAWT! And don't get me started with feet....ohhhh what about those brazen hussies who wore shoes that revealed their bare toes? I might have to run to the bathroom and lock the door on that one.

We're all too quick to say Muslim women are repressed, though I personally think they are. But many Muslim women, if interviewed, will claim to be quite happy with their burkhas and place in society. Maybe they have no clue what they're missing. Or maybe their fearful and repressed. But I'll bet some of them are sincere in feeling OK about everything. Just think, if you wore a burkha you could roll out of bed, not have to worry about how you look, and go do anything you want in minutes flat. Awesome. You could be totally anonymous wherever you went. If you walked by that obnoxious Hummus Guy with Dolmades breath, you could pretend you didn't know him. Ha ha, Hummus Guy! You lose!

Anyway, I am all for cartoons in Salon. Why stop here? Bankroll some original Pete Bagge or Daniel Clowes or something. I dunno.

Please publish an article on the Top 10 Turkish Dwarf-Tossers.

Please print this out and mail it to Tom Delay.

(1) "Which is worse? To be boring or to be catty?" Neither. What's worst is to create false dichotomies and then fret over them as if they're real.

(2) This article needs more examples. What made the author decide she was gossiping too much? What was the negative consequence of her gossip? How does she define gossip? "Talking about other people"? That's a pretty slim definition.

(3) Does the author have any hobbies or interests? You wouldn't think it to read this article. If you're so bored you have to turn to gossip for entertainment, this might be a sign you need to expand your interests and get more involved in the world (by "involved," I don't mean talking about stuff).

(4) Is "gossip" really a problem? Isn't the problem when you're spreading information that others might not want spread, or assuming the worst about people, or getting a vindictive thrill from discussing the misfortunes of other people? Isn't the problem when you assume too much, play armchair psychoanalyst, or become overbearingly nosy? If so, why would you want to go back to any of those behaviors?

(5) Ummmmm.....are "books and ideas" really the only alternative conversational topics you can think of?

I'm convinced I could write for Salon. I know I could write something at least as substantive as this piece. Give me a topic, Joan. Let me at it. How do I sign up?