Cary said so much more than I imagine anybody in this forum will say. He gets to the heart of the matter -- sure, the wife is playing cruel games, but the LW threw himself in the path and continues to do so! He may do this because he loves her deeply, but on some level he is being a masochist, or at least failing to protect himself, by not getting a divorce and cutting his wife, and himself, loose of each other. It may be that she's just a queen bee and he's the top drone who doesn't realize this is a bee/bee and not human/human relationship.

One thing that did stick out for me is that the LW wants to punch the other guy in the face. And I don't blame him. But what the LW didn't mention is whether he wants to punch his wife in the face. She's the one committing the more direct and intimate betrayal. Seems that all the anger is being transfered over to the other guy.

LW, you need to be honest about your anger. You are pissed at your wife! The other guy is a ghost (and a fool, I might add -- much more of a fool than you are, pursuing a married woman for years and years). But your wife is the one crapping on your emotions and on the vows of your marriage. She's the one you're angry at! Don't hit her in the face by any means, but be honest about your feelings here.

The person is dying. This is it. Whatever they were to you, and whatever they are, this is the end of their story. And their story is part of your story. Be a part of it.

Letter Writer, you are not a creepy person, just human. I assume you have seen the Cate Blanchett/Judi Dench movie, right?

I sincerely hope you're not in a compromising situation with your stepson, but it's likely you some day will be. Try not to betray your feelings...not only do you not want to be tempted, but you don't want to tempt him either. Young men are notoriously low on self-control and willpower and wisdom. They're also low on discretion even if they assure you otherwise. It will also have emotional effects on him that are hard to gauge, but among the worst will be the lifelong knowledge and guilt of having betrayed his father in a particularly nasty way. Think this through. Giving into temptation would have far-reaching consequences beyond what you might imagine.

You don't want to rip your husband's heart from his body, or give him any reason to resent his own son. Nobody deserves that, not even a milquetoast low-libido type. I am sorry you don't have more hotness and excitement in your marriage....is there any way to change that, even a little?

You could redirect your affections into an affair with somebody less close to home, though I would advise against it. But that would be a far better option than the stepson. You could view this as a warning sign that you are unhappy in some fundamental way, and make a move to get out of the stagnant marriage. Or use it as an impetus to crack the whip on your own ass and spice the marriage up before it's too late.

Your imagination is waiting for you to dive in and see the hidden pathways beyond the few you see before you. People tend to think they only have 2 or 3 options, when in fact they have more like 23 or 38, if only they'd be resourceful and open themselves up to their imagination. Life is a work of art that you paint as you go, and it is by-the-numbers only the most uninspired people. Perhaps this whole situation is life's way of trying to snap you out of your rut.

The correct response would have been to vomit ever so delicately down the back of his shirt.

Say somebody writes Cary a question about cheating on a mate, or dealing with memories of molestation, or some other sensitive topic.

Take away the "anonymous" option and a lot of people with valuable insight won't share it.

Even if you have an alias screen name, you probably won't want people to know your intimate personal opinions and otentially associate them with you when you're posting comments on some other story.

Glenn Beck has always been a total ass without any principles or character.

What is more despicable is that CNN actually thinks it's good business sense to put such a weak-minded, used-car-salesman type on the air in prime time.

Hey CNN -- thanks for insulting your audience.

I have chosen to insult you back by not watching your channel.

anna nicole smith

lindsay lohan

paris hilton

britney spears

...any other star who destroys himself or herself in front of media due to lack of self-control...

just stop covering them

put them on page 12 instead of page 1

stop making them as important as real news

give the most attention to the coolest people and things

cover the new superconductor

cover the most innovative musical composers

cover the greatest writers and thinkers

cover a technician who invented a neat new thing that is helpful

cover a person who did something good for humanity

cover somebody who is witty and clever and makes people see things in new ways

cover a political subject in an informative manner

but please....

stop covering young, out-of-control women just because they had a nipple slip or herpes medication or a sex tape or a drunken binge