Letters to the Editor
PJBabiba
Published Letters: 29 Editor's Choice: 4
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Don't forget the father.
[Read the article: Dividing the man from his mother]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]This article by Ayelet Waldman would’ve been entertaining if only because of how obviously disturbed she is. But then I just could not shut the voice in my head telling me that her children are being completely abused by this emotional wreck of a woman.
Well, I just have one question: Michael Chabon, where the hell are you?
If you are in the background somewhere, teaching your son that “movie kisses” with his mother is not right, or taking your daughters aside to soothe their confusion and hurt over their mother’s obvious preference for her only male child – where the hell were you when this article was written for a MAJOR ONLINE PUBLICATION?
I have news for you, your wife not only makes herself look bad, but she diminishes your stature in the eyes of many readers here as well. Because what kind of a father would not protect his children from such exposure?
Self-exploration is fine. Self-exposure is fine too. There are plenty of those types in our culture. And hey, they’re entertaining to watch. If your wife wants to make herself out to be one of those people, then so be it.
But for goodness sakes, don’t bring the children into it! They have no say in what’s written about them. They shouldn’t be used as material in their mother’s over-indulgent rants about her own insecurities. (Truth be told, even the queen of exposure, Madonna, had the sense to keep her kids out of the limelight. I don't think she ever sang about the "delectable" quality of her children's skin)
You know, it takes two parties in any family to abuse children: One parent to do the abusing, and one parent to stand back and let it happen.
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Find yourself again
[Read the article: I'm the academic wife, jealous and insecure]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]To the LW:
Wow. You've been through quite a bit in the past few years.
Cary gives excellent advice when he told you to concentrate on just figuring out what you love and what you don't.
One of my mottos in life:
"What you love will help you grow."
That's the only path to happiness. So figure that out, and then like Cary said, look back at your husband. Maybe you'd see something different about him then -- and that will help you make a decision as to whether you want to stay in this marriage.
Sorry I had to say that -- but it does sound like a one-sided relationship to me. Your husband decided at the last minute to move to Europe to continue his studies? That's not just rude but signals that he values his advancement in his career to be more important than yours. And I really hope that he wasn't the one who told you about his supervisor's remark. If it wasn't, great. If it was... then you've got a very poisonous person in your life that you should probably get rid of asap.
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Could've been better... could've been worse
[Read the article: The losing generation]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]By that I mean this interview with the author. From the Slate.com article, I half expected her to be a simpering, pampered idiot. But she wasn't. She was actually fairly well-versed in what she was talking about.
I really don't think the problem has anything to do with generational differences though. I think it has to do with certain parts of the economy that are floundering and certain parts of the economy that are thriving and the inability of colleges to wake up already to the fact that a liberal arts education simply does not cover the bases.
I'm doing fairly well, and so are my friends. But that's because 1. we're all doing something that we're interested in building a career in, and that makes all the difference, and 2. we live in an area where people scratch their heads and go, "Is there a recession? No way!"
We simply don't feel it here in my neck of the woods. The pharmaceutical and tech industries here are positively booming. Everyday I read about new subdivisions or a new global company that's coming to town.
So I have been insulated from a lot of what this author is talking about. But then I also think that many members of this generation are floundering because of their sense of entitlement. Not graduating from college within six years? Loading up a bunch of debt for an ENGLISH major? Charging tens of thousands on their credit?
Who are these people?! They're certainly not lower-middle class, like my friend who got zero support from her parents, babysat her way through college and now am earning in the mid- to high- five figures. My guess is that they're middle class and have never actually felt the sting of poverty. They buy into the lie that you could throw money away at an English major and expect to emerge unscathed, with a plum job waiting for you upon graduation. I blame this partially on naivete, but probably more so on colleges lying to students and making them believe that you can "do whatever you want" with an English major.
So I guess I would've liked more in-depth socio-economic analysis from this author apart from interviewing a bunch of people and using anecdotes to form a conclusion. Check out how Gen Xers are doing in different parts of the country. Talk to Gen Xers who actually went to school for a trade. My guess is that she'd come up with different results. It almost sounds like she did all her interviews in New York, which is not the best cross-section of my generation, not by a stretch.
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Oops
[Read the article: The losing generation]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I meant Gen Yers when I was talking about Gen Xers. My bad.