My husband and I both hyphenated our names years ago when we got married. When we had our daughter we debated about how to handle this. I wanted to essentially take the hyphen out, and give her my name as a middle one. My husband really wanted us all to have the same last name. As luck would have it, our daughter loves having a hyphenated name. I check in with her about it all of the time. She is now old enough to have to write it on every paper, tedious I would think. Our son is too young to know or care yet so we will see. My thought is that when they get old enough to care we will have it changed, drop the hyphen if they chose, but until then it works fine. I would add that it does make a difference where you live. We lived in the midwest for a number of years and I was constantly having to explain to receptionists how they should file my name etc. People would be visibly irritated.

I haven't read Ms Flanagans work, but I can see how she has an audience.

She is offering up a big pat on the back to overeducated and underutilized women. The world of work is a complicated place and doesn't always open up to embrace our gifts and talents. Her energies would be better spent talking about real issues. Perhaps these stay at home moms haven't found a niche in the professional world, or crafted a career or job that provides them with enough flexibility to parent and work effectively. When they hear this message, NO PROBLEM! As mom you are doing the most important job in the world! You *are* a success, and you *have* a career, Motherhood! They can give up trying to meld a professional life with their personal one.

As a result, we get no closer to really dealing with the issues that effect children and families in this society. It helps no one save temporarily stroking the egos of parents who have the means to live out this model of a family. It is just laziness.

We need all people to be actively seeking better working conditions and more family friendly policies. To give up is to go backwards. There are more than two models of parenting and the workplace is changing. We can make it change for the better instead of pointing fingers and congratulating ourselves on our own choices. Women have value to this society beyond mothering, cleaning, and lets not forget, shopping. I stay home with my kids but I am offended by her pandering. I haven't given up on a career, and other women who stay home shouldn't either.

Thank you for pointing out her hypocrisy.

Shannon KH

We Have to change. I agree with everything said about changing the laws, changing the culture, concerns about globalization. If mothers organizing can help, bring it on.

If the workforce hadn't been so male dominated over the years perhaps we would have seen a break over family policy sooner, but here we are.

That said, it is not useful to approach this from a position of fear. We see right now what happens to governments when people are afraid. We can look around to see what unbridled powerful corporations will do to increase the boottom line. It will be a never ending race to the bottom for us in quality of life and opportunnity if we don't get organized.

We pay taxes to a government that spends almost HALF of it in on defense. The money for education and healthcare is there, we just chose to let our representatives spend it unwisely. AND let's not forget corporations are run by people, many of whom want better benefits too, so things are changing.

My father would never have dreamed that his son in law would work from home in his pajamas all day, for the same company that he was required to put in 10 hour days, in a navy blue suit, for 30 years.

Shannon KH

Why not volunteer? Go talk to your neighbor? Join a book club?

Why are people are so needy for community anyway? It feels like a dangerous, narcissistic impulse to me. "I want to belong to a huge group of people who have the same values, who live like I do, raise their children like I do, and who won't challenge me to grow and change as a person (unless some authoritative figure tells us god said so or we will burn in hell?)". I don't get it.

I understand loneliness, but aren't people better off with actual friends? Isn't this just another quick fix that actually makes things worse?

I bet these radical churches are full of people who have trouble finding and maintaining satisfying relationships with others (hence the need for this artificial community), who have a shaky sense of themselves (easily manipulated to radically change their belief system), and who, for whatever reason (depression, drugs, mental illness?), can't logically think of a way to solve their problems without submitting to some patriarchal answer god.

If so then they will surely implode soon enough.

Still, it begs the question, when will we evolve past this?

Shannon KH