Why? Because our education system, especially the elite Ivy League and liberal arts colleges that so many middle-class folk aspire to, is out of date. I know, because I just graduated from one of those schools a few years ago.

At my particular elite liberal arts school, the mantra "you can do anything with an [insert English, sociology, psychology, history, art history, interpretive dance, comparative literature, French, German, or linguistics] major" was practically tatooed on our foreheads upon matriculation. My school actually did have an education department that prepared student teachers for the NYS exam, but there was absolutely ZERO integration between that department and any of the humanities departments, probably because elitist professors would be horrified by the idea of teaching the next generation of public school teachers, not the next generation of literary novelists and critical theorists. And as far as I know, the Ed dept. wasn't getting any recruits from the science and math depts, either.

My school, which was SO renowned for its scholarship and commitment to women's education, did a TERRIBLE job of dispensing practical advice to idealist humanities majors like myself who were deadset against working for the "white, privileged, capitalist, colonialist, exploitative machine" that we had been taught to despise in our high-falutin' critical theory classes. Is it any wonder that people of my and Anya's educational background found most of our post-college employment prospects so repugnant? We are taught by our liberal alma maters that we are too good for that--that fields like real estate, sales, accounting, teaching high school, and pharmacy are for graduates of lower-ranked universities and colleges--that we're too "smart" for the honest, hard-working, practical jobs that have always kept this country's previous generations employed.

But the thing is, folks, THOSE are the jobs that are available right now. And the person whose skill set matches with the job requirements is going to get the job, period.

I went to my five-year college reunion last summer. Imagine my surprise to find that most of my fellow humanities majors ended up going to law school and are now working for big, Establishment firms. And me? I'm headed to nursing school next year. Guess my $125,000 elite education really paid off.

to my husband of two months, so that he could see that the issues that we grapple with (kids, work, finances, sex) are stereotypical of today's couples. Should we have hammered out a few more details in the 5 1/2 years we were together before we got married? Maybe, but it's not like we didn't discuss this stuff at all--in fact, I felt like we debated it to death. It's just that people change, and their answers to these questions will change depending on circumstances.

For instance, neither one of us can really predict how we'll feel once we have a kid. Will he want to stay home? Will I? Right now we are both planning to work--but that could change once the kid is actually here! Maybe couples should come back to these questions again periodically to do a "check-up" on their needs and wants for the relationship.

The last question on the list--the one about whether the couple feels that the strength of the bond between them can overcome any disagreement they may have about the previous questions--seems to me to be the most important one. A strong, determined commitment to making the relationship work (not to mention some big-picture perspective) can help people tolerate more nuanced answers to the questions on the list.

the chaotic and cramped Delta terminal at JFK leaves a lot to be desired. The last time I was there (taking off on a Tuesday afternoon, no less!), it was packed to the gills, mostly because the place is TINY. The ticket counter can't be more than 25 feet from the door, which means all the space in front of it is packed with lines interweaving for various services--i.e., the check-in line mixes with the kiosk line mixes with the luggage drop-off line mixes with the security line. The lines are horizontal across the front of the terminal because it lacks the depth to be able to line people up in vertical rows.

The JFK Delta terminal rents a few gates to Saudi Arabian Airlines, and I don't think the Delta employees appreciate that very much. My husband and I were in one of the aforementioned crazy lines to check-in to our flight to Barcelona and a dark-skinned man moved outside the line towards the counter, presumably to ask a question. The check-in agent suddenly screamed angrily at him to get back in line. When I asked her why she felt she needed to be so rude about it, she retorted loudly, "All I did was yell at him--in his country, they'd just shoot you for stepping out of line!"

Needless to say, I was appalled. The guy hadn't even spoken a word! Ugh. I guess that's the kind of behavior they tolerate at Delta.