How about just being honest (if this IS in fact a friendship). Like "my feelings are a bit hurt because you didn't invite me to your daughter's wedding- what's going on?"

Then maybe the LW's friend will be honest back. And it will either clear up a misunderstanding or redefine the relationship.

It seems like a lot of respondents are losing sight of the facts: that LW is aware of her “superficial” feelings, that she is honestly examining them, grappling with them, and attempting to grow through this experience. What on earth is wrong with that? Why are so many people so threatened by honest feelings?

“She feels duty bound to express her views whether they are welcome or not. I certainly have no issue with her right to her views, nor with her felt obligation to try convincing others.”

So, LW, what exactly is your question? If, in fact, you have no issue with her right to her views, why do you assume that SHE has an issue with YOUR right to views? Has she lead you to believe that this is a subject that is not open to discussion? You seem very defensive about your choice to eat meat.

My politics are very different from some of my friends, but that doesn’t stop us from having a dialogue. If views are not expressed, how can they ever be changed?

It's really not meat-eating per say, it's the horrible way millions of aminals are "raised" and slaughtered. Meat/vegie is not a black/white issue.

I have a somewhat similar situation. I raised my 3 kids (now grown) as a single parent, with very little money or support. My new husband is raising his kids with plenty of funds, and they go to movies, eat out, have electronic gadgets, etc.- all things I couldn't do for my kids. I still struggle with my difficult and very unpleasant feelings of resentment. My husband knows that I am not jealous or resentful of his kids, and he truely tries to understand (and help me understand) myself.

But still I have this deep well of resentment. For me, it taps into my strong feeling of the basic unfairness in the world. Intellectually I'm glad he can be generous to his kids (and they're great kids) but I don't know if I'll ever lose that heart wrenching feeling of wanting to stamp my foot like a 3-year old and scream "IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!!!" But realizing where this is coming from has made it easy to be kind to his kids, and to accept my feelings for what they are.

So LW, if (as Cary pointed out) you can identify these feelings as your own justified feelings, rather than projecting them onto your boyfriend's background, maybe it will be easier for you also.

this awkward metaphor: It's one of those 70's "airport" movies--the pilot and co-pilot have succumbed to some mysterious malady, and are dead; the jumbo jet is runaway and out of control. Who do the passangers pick to take the rudder? The woman who has experience and co-piloted jets before, or some guy who's coming on like Gene Hackman in "The Poseidon Adventure"?

In the runaway jet that is the United States, it's Gene Hackman every time.

I just heard Rudy's speech and actually I thought it was extremely effective. Every time something smarmy or smug came out of his mouth, I added another $100 to the donation I'm making to Obama's effort. It's a pretty big donation!

Onwards and upwards!

He seems way to shallow, smug and narrow minded to be the least bit attractive to me.

how we would have reacted if the Iranians had demanded a recount after the Bush/Gore election....

atheists, lighten up! I'm an atheist, but whenever I witness something really awe-inspiring (a BIG lightening bolt, or an incredible harvest moon rising over a hill) I get an almost religious jolt of just haw fantastic the universe is!