Shoot, I was doing so much (and having so much fun) I almost wish it had been a little more "lonely." I gave my new iPod a tryout with a long walk around the neighborhood; wound up entertaining some very inquisitive children of one of my mom's sorority sisters; and put in a couple more chapters on a book about Broadway-show catastrophies. Next NYE, I'll try to sleep in...:).

>The truth is that human beings are social animals and we (most of the emotionally healthy ones anyhow) need companionship. And to get long term, reliable companionship, you need to pair-bond with someone, and that means you have to SHARE,<

...which of course, _always_ means you have to get married. Always. Because only married people are generous, caring, and can give companionship. Right. Thanks.

>and that's something that yuppies and boomers and spoiled Gen-xers are very, very bad at....I guess they zoned out during those "sharing" lessons in Kindergarten.<

Speak for yourself (or those you know) babe. One of the singletons I know is a firefighter; another is a cop. A couple are teachers and librarians. Another is raising her irresponsible sister's three kids from just as many marriages. Yeah, those folks are really lousy about sharing and sacrifice--though I wouldn't say that to the firefighter or cop's face if'n I were you. And I _sure_ wouldn't say to the single mom...:).

>As a culture, we have problems with commitment because we just can't stand the idea of giving up on "the next great thing", the better deal, the even more attractive (or younger) potential partner coming down the ski slope. Our society teaches us to constantly improve ourselves and "trade up", which is entirely at odds with acceptance, commitment, patience, loyalty and fidelity.<

Which of course includes all of those who had other things to do besides devote their entire lives to getting married. Unimportant stuff like following demanding artistic pursuits or caring for parents or trying to earn a living in a rough job market or...well, anything that's not about getting hitched to one's soulmate and becoming a real, generous, adult, mature person.

>It's one thing to be a cool singleton when you are a healthy 40 year old, with loads of sexual opportunities, when you are independent and have a great job. It's another when you are aging, with health problems, when you can't work anymore (or get downsized or outsourced), when you aren't as attractive anymore. Then the "glamor" of singleness wears pretty damn thin.<

Yep, because married people never ever divorce and face that situation (arguably with way less emotional resources than single people.)

>Many of us are about the reap the results of their myopic, selfish, self-aggrandizing, materialistic ways. And it will not be pretty.<

Oh, please. Like married people aren't some of the most materialistic, selfish, and self-centered folks on the planet just in their attitudes and consumption patterns alone. It's just that their selfishness is regarded as good for the community/society, whereas single people are seen as nothing but threats to the established order.

...though I probably don't want to know what people 'round here think one-who-is-owned-by-a-bird is like...:)

>My father, professor emeritus at a college of no academic distinction, is like your friend. He thinks most blacks are stupid. He thinks so because of thirty years of trying to teach biology to some of the worst students, both white and black, imaginable.<

Proof that academic achievement does not always equal intelligence. Given that your father thinks blacks are stupid no matter what, it's hella-unlikely he would see intelligence in black students if he ran into it. And it's even more unlikely he would believe it, because, well...that just _can't_ be possible, 'cause everyone knows blacks are stupid, right? As well, exactly how many blacks does your father know outside of the students he tries to "help?"

>After thirty years of exposure to minds like that, my father thinks that a lot of people in the upper south, black and white, are severely limited and should not be going to college.<

Given that many, many African-American leaders and great thinkers came from "limited" backgrounds (Booker T. Washington, for one; George Washington Carver, for another) I would say your father is as ignorant of history as he is of blacks in general. Or would he just claim that those folks were "lucky" or had a bit of "white brain" in them?

>But...he tried his damnedest to educate these pathetic, underprepared students. He stayed late to tutor them uncountable times and did all he could to make the course material accessible. And he's incapable of personal unkindness to anyone who hasn't gone far out of his or her way to be uncivil to him.<

But he still thinks that the black students he helps are stupid. Hate to clue you in, babe, but your father is suffering from a bad, bad case of "White Man's Burden" disease. And you can rest assured his patronizing, snotty attitude has not gone unnoticed by his students. Teachers like him are a type that black folks like myself learn to avoid/finesse/take-what-we-can-get-from-them-and-leave-the-rest early on because we know that down deep they will never see us as human. They teach out of a sense of duty, not out of really wanting to impart knowledge. And the minute you prove you don't fit in their box is the day they will turn on you/treat you like the animal they've always thought you were. They (and your dad) are the worst kind of bigot--cloaking their hatred/superiority in good intentions.

>And he will say what he thinks and why. One never has to worry that he's thinking one thing while saying another!<

Bet you he won't be openly telling black folks he thinks they are stupid any time soon, though...

>He's a good man. Most likely your friend is a good man too.<

Yeah, he's a real angel.