Boy, Laurel962, I have to give you credit. You hit almost every bitchy, pathetic stereotype in the singlism book. What got up your nose? Your single friends must make you _nuts_ because they refuse to be miserable--or bow down to your superior-ness as a married lady.

>Another dumb point everyone is missing: the LW is only 31. Lots of women today don't marry until their 30s, it's not even considered very old anymore. (The average age is something like 27.) She will very likely get married sometime in the future, and then what?Will mom have to pony up first for her debts and down payment, and then 4 years later, for her "Oops, I guess I am getted married afer all!" wedding??? Because statistically, that's what is likely to happen.

<

So frickin' what? Statistically speaking, her sisters are more likely to divorce. Does that mean their mother shouldn't have given them money--or shouldn't help them if they need it? But of course, they are _married_ and that automatically means they can see the future, in addition to being responsible and centered.

>I think the LW is just bitter and unhappy that she hasn't met the right partner yet, especially because she tells us she hasn't dated much and that the only relationship she did have, has floundered.<

Ooooh. It's the "Poor Soul" and "Singles are Selfish" canards in a devastating double-hit...:)

>Getting money from your elderly widowed mother will not make up for your lack of dating success, LW!<

Yep, because the best way to make up for not finding the right partner is to buy a house. Um, if she were _that_ desperate, wouldn't she want the money to spend on finding a husband?

>Your mom did not offer your sisters a choice of a wedding or a sack full of gold bullion, because your parent's WANTED to throw weddings for them. Your mom still has hope for you, I promse. She still sees you getting married someday. To ask for this money (even if she gives it to you) will destroy her hopes for your future, rather prematurely. You are 31, not 51. At the minimum, suck it up for another decade, and during that time, try to live frugally, save up for that down payment and pay off your debts ON YOUR OWN. You might also want to put a little more effort into dating. Like all other things in life, dating success doesn't happen as often to people who sit around feeling sorry for themselves and who wait for stuff to be handed to them on a silver platter.<

"You poor soul. You just haven't tried hard enough (unlike the wonderful married-me) to snag that man." Exactly what in LW's letter tells you she cares all that much about getting married. Or are you seeing this because you are pissed beyond belief that she's not expecting to marry and is finding other ways to be happy. How dare she!

>Oh, speaking of silver platters: I don't know who put out the idea that brides get all kinds of great gifts. Most of the gifts that I got, and that my friends got, were total pieces of crap...things like engraved silver trays, monogrammed picture frames, napkin rings, embroidered tea towels, etc. All stuff you can't even return for the cash, LOL. Only on TV, or amongst the hoi polloi, do people get gifts of new cars or bags of money. Most people don't get much of anything really valuable, the gifts are both overpriced and symbolic, rendering them useless for the most part.<

Nice you are so grateful. I'm sure the gift-givers would really appreciate that they spent hard-earned money for you.

>Stop angsting around and being so jealous and greedy. You will profit more in your life if you concentrate on making your own life a good and productive one, than worrying constantly about what other people have that you do not.<

The LW has goals and wants to make a productive purchase. She's doing more with her time than you, who obviously has real problems with women who have better things to do than be wifey.

>...for most parents, raising, protecting, providing for, ensuring the survival of and preparing for the future of their children is the top priority and central focus in life<

Since when does that raising not include teaching their kids to be considerate of others? Since when does that give parents a license to teach their kids that their wants are the only thing that matter and to hell with everyone else? And since when do parents not have to train a child to occupy themselves at some point? All of these go into raising a child right--not training that child that they can do whatever they want whenever.

...the day-care providers aren't being proactive enough. If they know certain kids are teething and are prone to bite, it's rather dismissive to use that as an excuse to let them consistently hurt the LW's son. Can they watch them a bit more? Or separate them from their chosen victim (in this case, the LW's son); make sure they have constant teething distraction; or (appropriately) discipline them.

>Also complicating the situation is the fact that the biter is the child of an employee. So getting her "kicked out" of daycare would have major effects on the mom as well, as I imagine one of the key perks of working at a daycare center is getting to see your child whenever you want.<

Unfortunately she's letting her child get away with unacceptable/dangerous behavior--and it sounds like the bosses are enabling her. If she can't deal with her own kid (who is getting a nice early start on becoming a bully, incidentally) how is she dealing with others' children? You could point out to the director that this woman's little girl is putting everyone at risk, including the center itself, and ask if enough is being done to distract the child or help her focus her aggression elsewhere.