Letters to the Editor
deering
Published Letters: 1203 Editor's Choice: 20
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Nah, Brooks ain't hardly that smart...
[Read the article: David Brooks takes on pop music]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]>That isn't at all what the article is saying, at least as reported here. The point seems to be that without a courtship paradigm, ambiguity rules.<
But Brooks isn't suggesting a new paradigm that takes in account women's independence--he insists women adhere to the old, "become a wife/mother or be miserable" one.
>Participants subject themselves to public evaluation on an unprecedented scale. It's tantamount to public ownership. The mall is a mandate. That is trauma, because it's an assault on public/private boundaries.<
But they do so of their own free will. And those that read MySpace don't _have_ to read it.
>So, Brooks suggests a "Lone Ranger" archetype. This doesn't only have to be about girls. With the pace of change accelerating for everyone, the natural defense mechanism might be to retreat into a sort of Western hero--alone, defiant and resigned to his/her fate. Sums up the gangsta-cult pretty well, too.<
Oh, please. You'll notice he's not slamming men for abiding by that archetype for lo these many years. It's only when women stand up for themselves and won't take shit that Brooks feels threatened--and swears there is a threat.
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Sheesh...
[Read the article: Flying the child-unfriendly skies]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]1) The flight attendant sounds like a total bitch. What, did she get demoted from her job at Gitmo or something?
2) That said, there are a lot of parents who have no idea how loud their kids can be--or don't care. I used to try to ignore loud children, but over the past few years it really seems as if more and more parents think a child being noisy on a bus/train/plane is normal--or perfectly fine. And said parents seem to feel that they have every right to make a scene or be obnoxious if other people object to the noise.
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Oh, please....
[Read the article: Flying the child-unfriendly skies]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]>Children are learning, and if you cannot handle their outbursts, then you need to change your behavior. I am not addressing this to parents; I am addressing this to the haters. Have some compassion. You were small and learning once.<
There's a big difference between a child crying or throwing a tantrum for a few minutes--and a child screaming or running up the aisles the entire trip because their parents "don't know what to do" or don't care. Or think it's cute their brats are disturbing everyone else. Look, the reason people get so angry in these situations is because they aren't the ones disturbing the peace. They are the ones behaving properly, being quiet and minding their business. But for their pains, they get a nightmare trip and stress. The family-at-fault usually thinks the whole thing is a big laugh--or want to act as if they are in the right.
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Nonsense...
[Read the article: Flying the child-unfriendly skies]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]>...you shouldn't go on a plane if you can't deal with the possibility of there being a crying baby on it. You must accept the fact that when you leave your house that you lose some control over your environment.<
Oh, come on. There are reasons people are supposed to be considerate of others when they are out in public. Would you suggest that people who want to hear a movie in peace or have a quiet read at the library or want to have an enjoyable dinner have no rights to those things because "the environment" can't be "controlled?" The parents are the ones not controlling their kids, and they are the ones responsible, not the people who are minding their own business and not bothering everyone else. This "blame the victim" self-righteousness is the reason people get fed up with clueless parents who seem to think they and their kids have the right to trample on everyone else's rights.
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Er, no...
[Read the article: My Southern grandmother is dying, and I don't want to go back]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]>You bear this animosity towards your family because of dresses and piano lessons? What an ingrate.<
Anything can be used to control people in dysfunctional families. And dresses and piano lessons are traditionally things that girls are "supposed" to like to do/wear--especially down South--so they make ideal control methods. Forcing someone to wear dresses (which essentially is forcing them to limit what they do in order to keep said dress clean and perfect) is a control deal. Forcing someone to take piano lessons when they prefer to be outside playing or doing some other activity is a control deal. Saying that someone is ungrateful because she's forced to accept stuff she doesn't want is the same kind of head as saying an emotionally-abused person is an ingrate because at least their family fed and clothed them. Amd the fact that this has been enough to make the LW leave her home state for good is a sign that those dresses and piano lessons weren't as benign or nice a gift as they seem. LW, make the call to give yourself some peace (and give your grandmother some little thanks for what she did do right in raising your). But as to visiting and giving your toxic family another shot at you...don't.