>I believe that many workplace problems stem from a tendency to treat the office environment like a family, which infantilizes workers.<

Man, if I have learned nothing else during my twenty years before the mast, it's to flee like my butt was on fire the _minute_ management starts proudly declaring that "we're a family" crap. What that usually translates into is that the boss/upper management have the priviledge of bringing all their unresolved family issues to the workplace. They will get to behave like spoiled, horrible children,whereas you will have to deal with their tantrums and screw-ups like an adult...and pick up their slack like an adult. One of the worst places I ever worked was a pet store run by a woman with major dominating-father issues. She was all about that "family" stuff too. She became engaged to a guy who was abusive to everyone and incompetent, though he put on the strong facade his wife wanted. Once she made him manager, he would do crazy mess like scream at us for not having the front of the store cleaned in a hour; would come in to "show us how to do it right;" and not only not finish in an hour, but would leave a bigger mess for us to clean up. It was just one nonsensical, insane thing after another with that guy--you never knew when or why he'd start screaming and cursing at you. Add to that co-workers encouraged to rat each other out, and it became an intolerable situation. I got sick from the stress, and was fortunately able to quit a week later. In short, "family" is just another word for putting a happy face on screwing over your workers. Beware, beware...:)

>I think that readers grossly underestimate the provocativeness of a wife going out in public wearing a T-shirt that suggests that her husband is not addressing her sexual needs. These are fighting words--maybe not in the blue states, but out here in middle America, yes.<

So, like a true man of honor, you would slap her into next week in order to make things right? Okay...

>But if the office has a dress code,<

Apparently not--or the T-shirt simply wasn't bad enough to make the supervisor LW snitched to come down hard on the wearer.

>I absolutely HATE this letter writer. A woman's T-shirt threw him into such a tizzy that he confronted her about the word "kitty," complained to her supervisor, and then wrote to Cary for advice. I am glad Cary brought this letter to light, it needed to be brought to everyone's attention that when you work in an office with what appear to be reasonable people, there are lunatics lurking everywhere, SO WATCH IT.<

This is the kind of guy that is only a few bad dates or major frustrations away from doing something really bad. If you read enough about serial killers, they all have very much this same twisted, puritantical, punishing mindset. I wonder if the folks in his office get a creepy vibe from him or avoid him.

>"God won't give you anything you can't handle."<

>>Along with this came a sentiment that is particularly pernicious in new age communties: "You create your own reality, therefore you created your cancer. If you die, it will be your own fault."<<

Two sides of the same nasty coin. It's always interesting to see that no matter how much mercy and tolerance a belief system starts out with, it invariably grows a punishing, "it's all your fault 'cause you're weak" side.

>Feel free to bring the 35-hour workweek or the 6-8 weeks paid vacation for everyone, though, and I will join your side. If it applies to everyone, fine. If it applies only to protected classes, it's horsesh*t and I will assail it as such.<

Gotta agree with anonymous here (boy, that was tough to say.) If paid leave isn't applied equally across the board, it's unfair. When _do_ singles and the childfree get their fair shake when it comes to resources? Bad enough the tax code isn't in one's corner; bad enough one will never get back the money one gives when friends get married and have kids. But having one's off-time constantly infringed on because the parents at one's office are either on paid leave, not picking up their slack when they are back, or consistently getting first crack at vacations and holidays...uh-unh

>As to those who don't want to take up the slack for co-workers, I hope people recognize you for the mean-spirited people that you are and never take up any slack for you when you become ill.<

I have no beef with taking up slack for co-workers--but constantly? And for people who, more likely than not, think that as a single person my life and relationships count for nothing compared to their precious lives and kids? Nope, not happening? I worked with a manager once who had teen daughters--and used them as an ongoing excuse to come in late and miss days. (Considering what a lousy manager she was when she _was_ around, she did everyone a favor, come to think of it. :)) She pulled that "I can't come in today" stunt one time too many, and the owner canned her--and rightly so.

>Think you won't? You'd better read up on health matters and disability. Someday you may need some help when you break your leg skiing or acquire back problems due to an auto accident.<

And who will pick up the slack? Bet you dollars to donuts the parents will have a thousand excuses not to, and the other singles will have to shoulder the burden.