I don't usually go back and try to clear up things I've said this way, but so much went right by you that I really do want to try and make this more clear: first of all, I haven't forwarded this (or any of my other Salon letters) to my friends and relatives. I have enough trouble stemming the tide of idiotic eamails from my relatives demanding that I prove my devotion to Jesus, to the cross wrapped in the goddam flag, and to Donald Wildmon (my serious nominee for antiChrist)that I'd never give them anything they might, like you, mistake for something other than sarcasm. I love them dearly, but they're not all that bright and they'd burst into ignorant applause that I really don't want to hear. As for my friends, they feel as I do about this, which is why they're my friends, so no need to torture them with redundant crap.

I don't go to church except on a very erratic basis (occassionally skipping whole decades) but the very liberal congregation already knows how I am inclined to express myself, and have always referred to me, since my teens, as "the grain of sand" (as the irritant in an oyster's shell that causes a pearl to form). I can live with that.

I've been called an anti-semite before, even though Judaism and Zionism are two totally different things and the issue which triggered that accusation had nothing whatsoever to do with either.

I've never been called a racists once in my life, so I want to thank you for giving me something new to talk about. As a veteran of the civil rights movement and a rather large disappointment to fellow Republicans, people do find my easy movement among black people a little confusing. "Maverick" would probably be a more fitting word, but "racist" will have them laughing down under the bridge in Foggy Bottom next time I'm down there passing time with the people trying to simulate living indoors, something I'm still fortunate enough to be able to do - so far - and still share some of my relative largesse with them.

No, you misread me, which I admit is easy to do. I tend to shoot from the hip, with liberal doses of sarcasm and satire thrown in. It's dangerous, especially among the overly sensitive, but that's precisely why I do it.

By the way, although a nominal Christian, I never refer to the figure Jesus as "the Christ", something I find vaguely offensive to the legacy of the man we're pretty sure created a ruckus in the Palestine area a long time ago. I also suspect Jesus was not the pinch-mouthed, pathic ascetic bore westerners have painted him, but rather as a true mensch, and one with a sense of humor to match his purported enlightenment and clarity of mind. He'd had to have, given the path he appears to have chosen.

I just wanted to clarify that stuff for you. And yes, I was pretty taken aback by the Jewish woman who went ballistic over the wrapping paper, and I can't get it out of my mind, probably because things like that come up in the news every year, counterbalanced by the lunacy of evangelical creeps (a number of which share my bloodline - I wasn't given a choice about that). It really is tiresome. Keillor isn't a raving fundie, you know. Neither am I. In fact, I'm pretty exhausted by all the pulling back and forth over this issue. But when someone bases his (or her) argument against the presence of western Christmas traditions totally upon his (or her) own religious, spiritual or atheistic choices I become energized all over again. Call it PCTSD (Political Correctness Traumatic Stress Disorder). I really kinda worship at the knee of Rondney King, a recurrent fuckup and so eminently human, who echoed Jesus' message in his own words: "Can't we all just get along?". Merry Christmas, Rodney. I hope you get through this one unscathed.

Obama didn't exactly rush in (having offered to not even appear) but sure as hell did walk into the lion's den and came out smelling like a rose. Don't be fooled by Brownback's polite behavior: the man is not to be trusted any farther than anyone writing here could throw him. Warren is a subject of suspicion and perplexity for me, too. I just returned to the DC area after spending almost 5 years practically in the back yard of Saddleback Church (I think everyone in Orange County either belongs or has visited there) and I have an innate distrust of "megachurches" on top of my original distrust of most "normal" ones. Still, this was an opportunity worth exploiting and the Senator form Illinois did a damn fine job.

Did I mention I'm a fan? This Republican would vote for Obama for President in a heartbeat - and hopefully I'll have the chance. Meanwhile, knowing Orange County (and yes, I realize the gathering was international, but believe me, the OC was paying attention), this could very well earn Obama a lot of support from an overly red spot in a purple state.

Just keep one eye on Brownback, please. Trip him if he gets too close to the ring where the hats are tossed.

The person called me a "racist." Don't you find that odd? Oh well...I have been called a "schmuck" before. I can live with that too. Some of my best friends are schmucks. As for the "street cred", I wouldn't have used that term but next time you're in town drop in on The Foggy Bottom Bridge Club. I promise no one will shoot at you.

This is why I so seldom go back and try to clarify anything. Once a "racist", always a "racist", so I've signed up for yet another Cultural Sensitivity training.

I hope I don't get thrown out this time.